Wonderings – Page 7 – Darkk Horse Travel

The Truth About Mindy and Me

Published on May 4, 2014 by EmileeLeave a comment

Yesterday I started watching a TV show called The Mindy Project. It’s been on TV for a couple of seasons, so I thought I would give it a test run. I absolutely LOVE it.

In one of the first episodes Mindy, the slightly dysfunctional and all too relatable leading lady set on self-reform, says:

“It’s so weird being my own role model.”

And I stopped in my tracks. In fact, I opened Photoshop right then and there and designed and printed off the quote so I could put it on my wall. The more I thought about the quote, the more I started to analyze why it resonated with me so much. What was so powerful about this kind of declaration?

Well, first off, a leading lady who is self-empowered, successful (both academically and in her career), and is a woman of color, said it. Second, I think it was the first time I had my personal outlook clearly articulated in one sentence.

You’ve probably all heard the saying, “Comparison is the thief of joy.”

I happen to agree with this wholeheartedly.

Personally, I’ve always had a huge struggle with comparison. I’m hugely competitive, and I like to win. Always. This isn’t inherently a bad thing, but what I’ve had to work on (specifically during the past couple of years) is reminding myself that to be constantly comparing myself actually distracts me, and never empowers me.

Gathering inspiration from someone is one thing. But staring at their lives and thinking, “What the hell? How come she gets to do that and I don’t!?” or “Why is their life so perfect when I can’t seem to get anything together!?” is destructive.

As a Christian, I don’t believe anyone was created without a God given purpose. We are made to succeed and empower each other. Maybe that success means making people smile every day as a street performer. Maybe that means working to represent ethical commerce on Wall Street. Who knows? But I don’t think anyone is without a calling.

I’ve said it before, but the past couple of years were rough. It wasn’t until a breaking point last September when I finally decided to start living my life with myself as the primary author. And one of the best reinforcements of my decision was my backpacking trip.

Having weeks of alone time can give you clarity that is hard to beat. I think it was then that I really began recognizing that, if I was going to be living on this earth for the next 70 years, I was going to have to start making my own decisions.

No more looking around at what other people were doing. No more seeing pictures on Facebook and thinking, “Really!? What have I accomplished that can even half compare to THAT?” No more unhealthy comparison.

With the teen girls I nanny, I really try to talk smart about body image and loving yourself in all capacities. I remember being that age, and how hard it was to find someone to tell me it was okay to be smart AND beautiful AND confident. It always seemed like you had to choose between the three.

This week, we were talking about body image and how nobody’s perfect, specifically in regards to Instagram. It’s hard, because in social media people only post the good pictures of themselves. Leaving my teen girls comparing themselves to a standard of everyone’s “perfections” and nobody’s real selves.

We’ve had some really awesome talks about how important it is to focus on succeeding to our own standards (eating healthy, staying active and taking pride in our bodies) rather than looking at posts and trying to fit into other people’s molds.

It’s definitely a challenge. But instead of looking at other people’s lives, let’s take a second and look at our own. What do I have to celebrate? What have I achieved? I don’t care if it’s as “insignificant” as making it through middle school. That is an achievement!

The only person I should be comparing myself to is myself. I am my own biggest competition. My own role model. Let’s gather inspiration from others, instead of projecting negativity rooted in insecurities. Because tearing other people down (even just mentally) is only going to leave us bitter and angry – I speak from experience.

There is so much freedom in being able to embrace our own success. To look back on our own lives and saying, “Wow, look how far I’ve come! Remember when I used to be afraid to ask out random strangers? Now I ask people out all the time!

Ok, that’s a weird example. But, you get the point! Let’s start celebrating our selves and start looking at how we can be our own role models. Our dreams have power! Let’s not let someone else’s tabloid keep us from writing our own New York Times Best Seller.

Let your eyes look right on [with fixed purpose], and let your gaze be straight before you. Proverbs 4: 25

Six Impossible Things

Published on April 15, 2014April 15, 2014 by Emilee2 Comments

7727_1233273465369_2161295_n — Seattle, WA

This week I’ve challenged myself to finish a book.
Sounds easy enough, right?

Well, yes and no.

See, I have this thing about books. And TV shows. And life. I don’t like endings.

If you came over to my apartment, you would see an entire bookcase filled with books read ¾ of the way through. The bookmarks are still in them. It’s almost comical at this point. I’ve always had this thing about endings. I think I’m so terrified of reaching a “wasted-time ending” that, when I get close, I’d rather shut the book and imagine the rest.

The problem with this habit is that all endings aren’t bad. And when I choose to forgo the potentially bad ones, I’m also missing out on the potentially good ones. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. As a book reader, this is silly. But in life, it’s an all too real situation.

How often do we step back from something because of the potential for it going bad – shutting off the little voice in our minds that says, “But what if it works out?” Sure, by never taking chances, you can be safe and free from the embarrassment or disappointment of failure. But what about the rewards of succeeding in something that seemed impossible!?

If you know me well, you probably know I’m obsessed with Alice In Wonderland. It’s one of my favorite books/movies/tv shows. I love how it breaks conventional rules about how a story becomes relatable to readers, and when I was a kid I named my cat Dinah (the name of Alice’s cat). One of my favorite Lewis Caroll lines, from Alice in Wonderland, is about thinking up six impossible things before breakfast.

I actually do this.

At first it was just for fun, but after a while, I started to notice “impossible” things actually coming true; not that they were popping up out of nowhere, but that I was starting to notice them. Verbalizing, or writing things down, is an awesome way to be able to look back, and see your impossibilities becoming realities. These become milestones in our lives.

A few years ago, when I wanted to go to India, I was broke, I was a college student with a 20-credit load, I had never been out of the country and no one I knew had ever been to India before. But it felt right. And I’m a big believer in following gut feelings. When I found out how much the trip would cost, I sat down and wrote out how I could, even potentially, make enough money. It didn’t add up. It was impossible.

So, I wrote God a note. Classy, I know.

I said,

“Ok, God. I feel like this trip is something I’m supposed to go on. I have no independent travel experience, no idea what I’m doing, and financially this is ridiculous to even think about. But, if you want me to go, I’ll trust you. I have no idea where this money is going to come from, but I trust you to get me there.”

I folded up the note and stuck it in my journal. Then I went about my life, applying for visas and passports with money that seemed to come out of nowhere. I got offered a job that fit perfectly with my class schedule, and a raise at my other job completely spontaneously.The trip was going to cost me $2500 and, in addition, I needed probably $75 for spending money etc.

After buying all of my gear, getting shots and paying for passports/visas, I looked in my bank account: $2576.00

True story.

I dreamt about something impossible. And ended up half way around the world as a result. I tried something that had little to no chance of being able to happen, and trusted that the money would come if it was meant to be. It was blind faith, an unknown ending. I could have ended up getting to the end of the whole process and not having enough money. I could have failed. I could have wasted hours working my butt off, only to fall flat on my face. I had no idea, until the week I was flying out, that there would be a “happy ending”.

But there was.

That trip changed my life, in so many ways, that I couldn’t even possibly begin to write them here. Without it, I would not be the person I am today. Seeing the impossible become possible changes you.

My brother used to always say, “Fear isn’t in the present. It’s only something that lives in the future.”

When we allow it to overcome us, we’re, essentially, being crippled before we’ve even met our opponent.

For each of us, our fears are different. Maybe it’s something huge like traveling around the world. Maybe it’s small, like finishing a book. But, regardless, it’s so much more rewarding to fight for the impossibilities that we’re drawn to. We don’t know the future, so why fear it?

Instead, today, let’s think up some impossible things, dream a little bigger, and blindly take a leap of faith – or just finish a book.

“Throw yourself to the edge that you’re always scared of. Try being independent; do it your way. You’ll love it.”

–Ameerah Al-Taweel

Dust From The Ground

Published on April 10, 2014April 10, 2014 by EmileeLeave a comment

1450954_10201965662676569_2047202561_n — Glasgow, Scotland

What makes a life memorable? With today’s world of online clutter, award winners, inspirational people and political voices, it’s hard to really know what impact even means, anymore.

But, a couple of days ago, I read an article about a girl who died when she was 22. She didn’t have any Nobel Peace Prizes or Olympic gold medals. What she did have, were friends who were willing to write her story after she was gone. And, as I scrolled through the piece, tears started to fill my eyes. After I was done reading, I had to stop and ask myself, “Why does this matter? I’ve never even met this person. So, why am I mourning?”

You make beautiful things out of dust.

These lyrics have been haunting me for a couple of days now. They come the band Gungor, but I don’t think I ever let them sink in, until today.

Before, when I listened to this song, I thought about the scientific realities. From dust we come, and to dust we will return.

But today, I let my heart speak for a moment. I started to think over the past couple of years. They weren’t great. With the exception of the last four months, I would go as far as to say they were probably the worst in my repertoire. Nothing seemed to work – ever. I felt like life kicked me again, and again and again, until I was broken down and bloody on the ground. Life was shit, and it didn’t seem like it was ever going to get better. It was chaotic, it was unfair, it was overwhelming, and it was filled with pain, tears and sitting on my bed asking, “WHY?”

But now, looking back, I see that it was dust. Those things that happened, each pain filled moment, was merely dust preparing to be formed into beauty.

See, I serve a Creator who takes dirt and molds it into lives that matter. A God who raises up leaders out of the broken and the weak. When doubt fills my mind, and chaos is all I can see, I know that, through the storm, there is beauty waiting to be made. Beautiful things are rising up out of the ground.

I feel like doubt is one of the greatest killers of dreams. We doubt ourselves, so we make do with what we have, instead of pursuing what we’re called to. We look at ourselves and think, “There’s no way. I’m too [flawed, imperfect, scared, tired, messed up, broken, weak, insecure, unlovable, insignificant, unsure, inexperienced] to ever see this through. It’s not even worth trying.” And guess what? You’re right. You are. But, that’s not the point.

Regardless of beliefs, I think the creation story found in Genesis is beautiful. In it we’re told that God takes dust from the ground and forms it into man. Maybe it’s because I’m an artist – but this is significant. For every other living thing, God speaks them into existence. But for humankind, he takes them and forms them out of the dirt of the ground.

I don’t know if you’ve ever tried making pottery, but let me tell you – it’s hard. Your hands get dirty, and your arms get tired. It takes hours and hours to make one pot. You sit there staring and carving, smoothing your surface and lovingly putting in each detail you desire.

We were worth God’s time. And that means something.

In life today we don’t get to see God physically making people out of dirt, but I almost wish we did. We don’t have a physical manifestation so, instead, we have to pay close attention to see the remaking of beauty from the dirt that life produces.

Because, when it comes down to it:

In order to truly understand love, you have to experience pain.

To truly appreciate the value of laughter, you have to know the heaviness of silence.

To relish the comfort of restful sleep, you have to know the anguish of tear filled nights.

It’s not that our lives are perfect which makes us matter, or important, or significant or able. It’s that our lives are poignant.

Why did that 22 year old’s life matter, when I read her story? Because, the words she left behind sparked curiosity and enlightenment in those she spoke to; she set her mind toward goals, and her hard work inspired others to do the same.

Her life wasn’t beautiful because it was spotless, it was beautiful because the ripple effects of her existence are still echoing through space and time. Her zeal for life, her passion for engaging fully with others; those were her legacy.

Those were the stories that continued to be told and retold and retold until they ended up on my laptop screen. She lived a life worth writing about.

And, even if it was through the testimony of others, she inspired me to remember that it’s not always about the prizes, the recognition and the success of our endeavors. Sometimes, beautiful things don’t come out of perfection – they come out of dust.

5 Things I Never Thought Would Be Useful To My Life

Published on April 3, 2014April 9, 2014 by EmileeLeave a comment

It’s kind of funny how life prepares you for things you don’t have any idea will happen. Sometimes it makes sense, when you have a clear goal of where you want to go next (ex. taking swimming lessons to prepare to beat Michael Phelps in the next Olympic games) but, more often, we periodically find ourselves in somewhat odd chapters that make no immediate sense to our life stories.

I’ve always thought it was funny how things fall into place, and yesterday I was thinking about how many perfect situations I have experienced in order to prepare me for my now future, when I had no idea it was going to be happening before a couple of months ago. So, here they are: Five seemingly useless parts of my life…

1. College Grades:

When I set out to do something, I generally work my hardest at it. I don’t really see a point of pursuing something you’re going to give half an effort to, and I don’t ever want that kind of repertoire. In college it was pretty hard to “care” about grades and how I did in my classes. I lived in dorms where people ran around screaming and went on awesome 2am adventures. I’m not gonna lie, it looked appealing, and sometimes I wanted to go ice blocking at 3am, too. But, I had to remind myself why I was at college – to learn. And now, the grades which didn’t seem to matter (the general consensus seemed to be “as long as I graduate…”) are being submitted to the French government for approval. Am I glad I paid a little more attention? Yes. Yes, I am. (Also, it’s required to have your BA or an equivalent education in order to work as an Au Pair in France, so I’m really glad I have my degree in general.)

2. Backpacking:

When I took my backpacking trip around the UK I was just looking to get away and go on an adventure. I wasn’t trying to get a book deal, or trying to inspire the world – I just needed to get away. Although, it was an amazing trip, my motives were purely self motivating. Now looking back, however, I see that if I hadn’t taken the leap of faith in traveling to Europe by myself, I would never have had the guts to move to another country. Moving to France seemed so much more attainable because I had already travelled (almost) that distance, alone, before.

3. Working With ESL Kids:

Two of my five nanny children were adopted from Africa shortly after I started working with the family. While the oldest had pretty much mastered English when they arrived, the younger one still has some trouble with verb confusion and possessive nouns. But he’s learning quick! And being able to be there to help and guide them, while they master a language, has given me skills which I can use when I’m working with teaching English to the kids I’ll be a nanny to in France.

4. Taking A Random Foreign Language And Continuing To Practice It After High School:

Everybody is forced to take a few years of a foreign language, but most of us don’t remember anything after our academic requirements are filled. Honestly, why should we? But my brother told me something after I had taken my last required French class that stuck with me. He told me to never stop practicing; to watch French movies or read French books, every now and then, so I didn’t lose what I had learned. And he was right! I would never have retained the amount of vocabulary I have now unless I had, every now and then, continued learning. (Also just taking French in the first place, and not allowing myself to be peer pressured into taking Spanish, which I never liked — refer to this blog post)

5. Being A Nanny:

Unlike many people who are nannies, I never had any desire to work with kids. The opportunity definitely picked me, more so than I picked it. When I first started nannying I had no idea how much it would stretch me as a person, teach me to love, and inspire me to become a better person. For a long time I saw it as a stumbling block on the road to my career success. But it’s only now, when I look back, that I see how important it was for me to experience nannying before I moved on to whatever the next chapter of my life will be.

When You Wish Upon A Star

Published on April 1, 2014April 9, 2014 by Emilee2 Comments

Today I’ve been reading a lot about taking chances and following your dreams. Both of which, I fully support. But, as I was sitting here trying to think of what my dreams are, and what they have been, I realized something. Dreams, or callings, or whatever you want to name them, are not as single sided as they sound. They change, evolve and sometimes pop up out of nowhere. Sometimes your heart can be dreaming about something for years before your head gets caught up with the program. Then, when an opportunity comes along, it’s like, “WHAM!”

Sometimes, dreams smack us in the face.

My current prognosis for my life is that I knew myself better as a 10 year old than I do now. Why? Because when I was 10 I didn’t care what other people thought of me. I tried new things because I wanted to, and pursued them because that’s what felt right. I climbed trees and pondered life, wrote poetry, made forts and conducted random science experiments, because that’s what I wanted to do with my time. I was completely free of the restrictions of having to think whether climbing a tree was beneficial to my 401K, or if blowing things up in the kitchen would yield higher profit margins.

But, as adults, how often do we get that option? In college you take classes because, if you don’t, you’re not going to graduate (not because you can’t live without Molecular Biology). In the career world you work places because they offer you medical benefits and vacation time. Rarely is it because it’s some place you’ve wanted to work your whole life (although, of course, there are exceptions). And when you have kids, you get up at 5am every morning to get them ready for school, not because you want to, but because it’s your responsibility to as a parent.

With all these responsibilities floating around, it can easily feel like there isn’t room for dreams. When do those fit in? Between 3-5am? On the first and third Wednesday of every month?

But here’s a challenge that I give myself. When I have a rare moment of silence, no kids running around screaming at the top of their lungs, or responsibilities piling up by the second. I sit there and I ask God to remind me of the dreams he has fulfilled.

What were the things that I thought I’d never be able to do, and then did anyway?

When I look back, it reminds me of all the times I stood, shaking my head, thinking, “That’s impossible.” All the times I tried crunching numbers that seemed impossible to come out even, but then did. Never, for one moment, have I lacked the guiding hand of my Father, and the comforting whisper to try. And always, without fail, when I start to walk forward, the pieces come together seamlessly.

My favorite part about following your dreams and ambitions is that it starts what I like to call, Dream Dominoes. People inspire people. Stories inspire stories. When we step out of our comfort zones we empower others to do the same.

It always blows my mind when I take a step into an unknown place I feel called to and, all of the sudden, others start telling me about how they’ve decided to pursue things in their own lives as a result. It makes you wonder, what if changing the world is as simple as taking a chance on the things your heart beats for?

We never know the impact our own lives can have, until we step away from the comfortable and start paving our own paths. To stay safe may feel comfortable, but that doesn’t guarantee that the comfortable is safe.

My challenge for you, today, is to grab a notebook and write down three things you dream about having happen in your future. But, FIRST, write down three things that have happened in your past. Dreams that you never thought could turn into realities, but then did. It doesn’t matter if they turned out like you thought they would, or went according to plan, just that they happened.

Here are mine:

P A S T:

I travelled farther than anyone else in my family. When I went to India I had no idea how I would scrape together $2,500 for the trip but, in the end, I had the exact amount of money I needed in my bank account.
I wanted to intern with Krochet Kids International more than anything in the world. For two years I hoped and prayed that I would get an opportunity to work for such an awesome organization, and then I got chosen as a summer intern. I couldn’t believe it! I had wanted it for so long that I ~~almost~~ cried when I found out I would be working there.
I went to college. Financially it seemed improbable that I would get there, let alone graduate. But I did – with honors. And everyone who ever told me I couldn’t because of my age, race, social standing or gender had to sit there and watch me succeed.

F U T U R E:

I want to work somewhere that allows me to combine what I’m passionate about with my talents. I want to help people. I want to inspire hope in women who have been lied to about their worth and their place in this world. I want to write and explore and wake up every morning knowing that what I’ll do that day will change lives.
I want to write a book. I don’t know what about or how on earth this is going to happen, but I want to write a book and have it published, even if there’s only one copy and it’s sitting on my bookshelf.
I want to adopt. Probably not for a long time, obviously, but adoption is something that’s really close to my heart. I don’t have specific plans… actually I think it’s kind of weird when people pick a favorite country, or custom order what kind of kid they want, but this is something that has been on my heart for a wh-ile.

And that’s me! What are your guys’ dreams?

The Adventures That Never Happened

Published on March 21, 2014March 21, 2014 by Emilee2 Comments

Writing in London, England — Scribbling in London, England

Traveling doesn’t always “just happen.” Sometimes, life gets in the way. Plans change; the ‘rug’ gets pulled out from under your feet. And while posting solely about positive experiences is fun, and makes my life look beautifully airbrushed, it’s not realistic.

The facts are: sometimes I feel like God’s directions for my life are like a GPS that drives you into a lake, instead of to your destination. There are times when I’ve wanted so badly to go somewhere that I sat on my bed crying. Times I’ve been tugged in one direction, and then detoured a different way – my soul feeling whip-lashed.

But when this happens, I challenge myself to change my perspective. Yes, maybe the road turned out to be a roundabout, and that’s really frustrating when I thought I was going somewhere new.

But, sometimes, God uses déjà-vu situations to remind us of his promises before he takes us to bigger and better things.

Like, when I was picking a university to transfer to. I thought of applying to so many schools in so many amazing places (London, Norway, Tennessee) that when I got into my first pick I was elated. But, as quickly as they had been made, plans changed just weeks before school started, and I ended up at a university in my hometown of Seattle, instead. I was so upset that I didn’t get to go somewhere new or exotic. But, looking back now, I realize that I was placed exactly where I needed to be, to grow into the person I am now.

An ongoing lesson I’m learning is that there aren’t really “wrong” paths. When you come to a crossroads, sometimes you just have to trust that you’re following the GPS, and take a chance. Life is filled with different decisions, learning experiences, mistakes and successes – and, sometimes, making the decision to take a step forward is the hardest part. Especially if the answer to where to go next isn’t even on your radar.

For instance, when I was trying to decided where to move after living in California, I didn’t sleep for weeks. I had no idea what direction to head in. But, as the deadline neared, Georgia kept popping in my mind. Finally, I decided to visit my family there (people I barely knew), and the minute I bought the plane ticket, I had complete peace from all the anxiety I had been experiencing.

The whole time I had been freaking out about whether to move back to Seattle or stay in California, the answer was actually to do neither. Visiting my family, at that time, was exactly where I needed to be. Eventually I did come back to Seattle, but it was important for me to pick up a few life tools on the way. Learning to value family (no matter how estranged) and the beauty of my heritage, was a lesson I needed to realize before I could move forward in my life here.

Sometimes, the longest detours are the most direct routes to the future successes we have awaiting us on the horizon.

I’ve known my entire life that I wanted to go to the UK/Ireland (when I was 10 I BEGGED my mom to take me to Riverdance to feed my addiction – which she did), but it took me FOUR TRIES to actually get there. Not because I wasn’t putting forth effort, believe me I was, but because life consistently just didn’t allow me to go.

On my way back from India, I thought about running away the entire time I was stuck in the Heathrow airport (layover). My 18 year old self felt so drawn to the UK, and it broke my heart when I boarded the US bound plane, after being so close.

The next year, after I graduated, I immediately started thinking about how I could get to the UK/Ireland. Every year, for three years I had people say they would go with me, only to pull out last minute. It was the most frustrating experience to repeatedly have to shelve my plans to travel. But, ultimately, I valued my trip so much more when I actually got the chance to go. And, in addition, I was empowered by striking out on my own to get there.

Sometime it takes a while to get where we want to go. And sometimes we never get there at all.

When I was in high school there was a church trip to Uruguay that I wanted to go on more than anything. I worked my butt off to raise the funds, and even started learning Spanish (which I hated). Everything in my mind said to go. But, when it came down to it, my family decided I couldn’t. I was devastated. But, you know what? From that experience, I learned how to work toward something that I passionately cared about. I learned to apply myself, and that work ethic has carried over as I continue to dream of traveling.

Sometimes, life is unexpected.

When I look back and see all the things I’ve been able to do, the memories are so much sweeter because of the failures I’ve had in contrast. It’s a lesson that’s unpopular to learn, but failure is not inherently bad. It means that you aspired to something greater than what you had. You dared to dream bigger than yourself, and think outside the box. And, from where I’m standing, that is nothing to be ashamed of but, rather, commended.

So, risk big! Dare to dream and don’t be discouraged if you fall flat on your face. No one is born inherently successful, it takes time, energy and commitment to what you love.

To borrow some favorite lyrics from a hometown boy:

The greats weren’t great because at birth they could paint, the greats were great because they paint a lot. -Macklemore

No Hablo Español

Published on February 16, 2014February 15, 2014 by EmileeLeave a comment

1231510_10201497876262201_65773351_n — Missoula, Montana

It’s a truth universally acknowledged (at least in the Northwestern US) that a student educated in the art of speaking Spanish will be ten million times more likely to use it, than one educated in French.

I made that statistic up.

But, if you are one of the masses of people who chose to take Spanish as your educational language in school, I salute you – I was not.

My entire life I felt pressured to pursue Spanish. In school, I remember there being three Spanish classes filled with students (all with waiting lists) while we – the poor French class students of America – could barely fill two tables in our classroom.

Perhaps I was a hipster even as a ten year old, but I just COULD NOT understand why people wanted to take Spanish. Speaking Spanish felt like denim in comparison to the velour of the words I was used to practicing and perfecting. I obviously don’t share the feelings now, but you have to understand that I was an extremely opinionated and stubborn child.

And, as most people in love, I was hell bent on defending the honor of my darling French language, any time it was brought into question – which was often. I remember adults telling me it would be better for my future if I took Spanish classes. That it would look “good” on my résumé and that I would be able to better connect with “my culture”…wait, what? Yes, people thought I was Hispanic (I am not in any way, in case you were wondering). But that’s another story for another time.

The one time I actually attempted to try out a Spanish class, I was entirely disappointed. They said “que” and I pronounced it like it was supposed to be pronounced, “Kuh”. They said, “No, no, no, Emilee – QUE.” Yes, I don’t have a hearing problem, I remember thinking. And the second time I over pronounced it the French way, just out of spite.

It’s true, I was a brat of a child. I knew what I liked and was fiercely loyal to it. *Disclaimer: I am, in no way, claiming to have grown out of this.

Now that I’m older, I understand the importance of all languages, but I also understand the importance of sticking with what you’re passionate about. Should I have taken Spanish because it was something that “everyone” would use when they grew up? Maybe.

But, if I took a poll to see how many words my high school friends actually remember from their FOUR YEARS of studying, I’m pretty sure I would have great directions to the bathroom and know the person’s name.

See, while doing what is “practical” might seem like the right thing at the time, sticking with what I love is now proving so much more useful in my life.

I like to think of myself as an advocate of impractical thinking. I highly encourage doing the “impractical thing” in order to stay true to yourself (as corny as that sounds). Because, when it comes down to it, you are ultimately the person who lives with the shapes you are molded into. And you never know when, in your future, you might need a couple nonsensical skills. While French was seemingly impractical when I was growing up, knowing Spanish now, would be of little use to me while living in the countryside of France.

As a result of learning a language I was actually interested in, and wanted to learn, I dug deep into the language and actually LEARNED it. I was able to find my own identity and go down my own path; one that’s leading me to some pretty awesome places now that I’m an adult.

I’ll be the first to say that if there was enough time to learn every language, I would. I’m not devaluing any, Spanish or otherwise, in any way – but I will say that taking it for me would have been a mistake. Not because of what the language was, but because it wasn’t where my heart was.

In a perfect world I think all languages would be available in school systems so kids could really explore and see what stuck out to them. Right now, I live with one roommate who speaks Russian and another learning German, and I can’t help remembering that those languages weren’t even an option growing up. Why?

There’s going to always be a standardized educational system that provides what they believe is “best” for the students they are educating. But my challenge is that dark horses like me are allowed to thrive in an environment that might not be the common choice. Who knows how many linguists we’re missing out on by limiting the options of school languages!

Oh, and for all my Spanglish speaking friends – I adore you. But, don’t think I won’t remind you how “que” should really be pronounced.

Le Temps Est Maintenant

Published on February 11, 2014February 11, 2014 by EmileeLeave a comment

The first time I travelled outside of North America, I was 18 years old – and absolutely terrified. I had never been on a plane before, never been off the continent and had barely even been out of my parents’ sight most of my life (homeschooler – Woot! Woot!). But, after 24 million hours of flying, we finally reached Bangalore, India. Our group consisted of “ The Bangalore 12” : six men and six women, and I sat nicely on the bottom rung of the ladder as the baby of the group.

The greatest limitation that I had throughout that trip was continually feeling like I wasn’t “old enough” to participate or succeed in exploring a country different than the one I was raised in. I was way too shy to approach people, ask for directions or even order something at a restaurant. I just wanted to be invisible. You see, despite popular opinion, I am NOT an extrovert. And in addition to natural introversion, I come from a strict “keep to ourselves” Scandinavian family.

But, I remember sitting down with one of the women on the trip and telling her about how inadequate I felt. I expected pity, instead she dared me to feel empowered. She reminded me that age is only an obstacle if you allow it to be. I became so much stronger through that experience, because I finally allowed walls telling me to “stop trying” to be broken down. Was the transition smooth or fun? No. I still got nauseous every time I talked to someone. But, sometimes, the biggest success is taking your first step forward.

Years later, as I travel, I love to talk to people about their own travelling experiences. In particular, I always try to talk to older people while I travel. And every time I meet someone new, I’m reminded that although each of our stories are different – they’re not entirely lacking in similarities. For instance, every single person I’ve EVER asked about traveling (50+ years old) has said they wish they had traveled more and hadn’t let life get in the way. Whether they’re on their first trip, or their 100th, I have yet to meet ANYONE who was satisfied with how much they’ve traveled.

But, when is the best time in life to travel? My answer: When it’s the right time in life to travel (listening to that inner voice is key).

Now, if you’re like me and in your 20’s, you’ve probably been informed that your 20’s are “the best time of your life.” We’re told to travel now because when we’re older, we’ll have too many responsibilities, and after that we’ll be too rickety to leave our rocking chairs.

Well, I don’t buy it.

While obstacles make traveling harder (ex. having kids, or getting married, or having a mortgage etc.), the fact of the matter is: while these can be truths, they can also be excuses.

Whether I’m running around the globe tomorrow, in 10 years, or in 50 years, I refuse for my 20’s to be the defining “best part” – I have greater expectations for the next 70 years of my life. And while traveling, I’ve been able to meet some awesome people who are my heroes for refusing to believe the “age fallacy”, as well.

On one of my latest flights, I had the privilege of sitting next to the cutest older couple, who were probably in their sixties. After talking to them about airline food (first rule: sneakily ease your way in), I asked them where they were going. The woman lit up as she told me about her and her husband’s soon to be adventure around Ireland. They were both overflowing with a kind of giddy mischievousness. They had never been to Ireland before, and I couldn’t help but smile as they told me about all the details of their trip. While I was sitting there listening I thought, “See, here is such a great example of two constant learners of life. Age and experience don’t dictate their ability to travel. They were ready, willing and excited for their new adventure.”

My mom is another of my absolute heroes for how often we traveled as a family while I was growing up. As a single mother of four, you would think she’d have had some kind of restrictions or boundaries. But, when I was nine years old, she packed us up in our mini van, along with everything we’d need to live the next month of our lives, and started driving. In total, we reached 38 states (and every historical site, attraction and national park in between), and it still amazes me that such a feat was accomplished while she homeschooled me in the back of the van. And I don’t even have time to go into the almost 10 Canadian provinces, and trip to Alaska soon after. My mom was dedicated to making a way for us to experience the world, and she knew the best way to do that was to have us actually experience it. In conclusion, my mom is a total bad ass. Period.

Traveling is second nature to me because I was raised in it, but I realize that travel is a way of life. One that is, at times, uncomfortable and stretches your mind, soul and spirit. It can be scary and intimidating and emotionally (and physically) draining. But I think it is such an important part of existing as part of this planet. A lot of the time you don’t have the tools, or any idea how things are going to work out, but I think it’s exactly that lack of certainty that allows travelers to expand their minds and grow so much more over shorter periods of time.

Starting in college I made a commitment to travel somewhere I’ve never been before every year. Maybe this will actually pan out, maybe it won’t. But having the goal keeps me on track to do everything in my power to make it happen. So far, so good. I’ve been able to go to amazing places for the past five years, and I can’t wait for even more adventures.

But, the thing about the best adventures are that they happen when you’re the least ready for them (Bilbo Baggins?! – yeah, I went there). And sometimes I have to remind myself that God doesn’t keep a stopwatch on our lives that we can measure. He knows when we are ready and sends us out, regardless of our belief in the fact (Romans 8:28).

Honestly, 90% of the time I do things, I have 1% confidence in my ability to succeed. But, I have to take a step back, take a deep breath and make the decision to do it anyway. And generally it takes patience, tears and A LOT of prayer. But, you know what? Amazing things happen when you start trying to make them happen. People jump on board and support you, pieces fall into place and you start seeing little miracles occur in your life.

There’s a verse in the book of Esther that says you have been called, “for such a time as this” (Esther 4:14). Esther, in no way, thought she was ready to move forward on the path God directed her – but she took the first steps, knowing that regardless of the outcome, she had already succeeded by being faithful. Maybe it’s because she’s my namesake (maybe I just love stories), but I love this biblical lesson of blind faithfulness being rewarded. And while I’m totally on board with being called to go out in the world while I’m in my twenties, I want/hope/wish/plead that God will continue to challenge me to travel for the rest of my life as well.

“It’s a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don’t keep your feet, there’s no knowing where you might be swept off to.”― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings

5609_1211169432782_4455066_n — Bangalore, India – 2008

Letter To A Young Exploress

Published on February 6, 2014March 1, 2014 by Emilee2 Comments

1450751_10201965655276384_805682068_n — Glasgow, Scotland

Traveler,

In your life there are going to be people who tell you what you “should” do. In most cases, it won’t be with negative intentions or purposeful neglect to your feelings. But, hands placed on your shoulders, concern built in their eyes – they will try.
If and when these people find you, I want to give you one piece of advice:

Listen to them.

Listen, ponder, wonder and question every word that spills out of their unassuming mouths; riverbanks trying to contain the flow of your own untamable ambitions. Think about their words. Gnaw on them again and again until you truly understand the marrow of what it means to make your own decision.
Then, throw them out. For they have no further value to you.

As you plan and scheme and chart the direction of your own decision making, remember the words of those who doubted you. Remember the people who told you that you couldn’t or shouldn’t. Every person who tried to pour into your mind their own doubts and limitations. And as you think on these, also remember that you are more than a conqueror (Romans 8:37). More than able (Phillipians 4:13). And born to be set apart (Jeremiah 1:5)

Then, take a step. Fall with the freedom of knowing you have weighted the reasons, excuses and deliberations; and they have been found wanting. Walk forward, traveler, and be guided by the northern star of your own intellect and courage. For, remember, castles are seldom built by staying in valleys; dare to dream of venturing to the highest hills.

Remember who you are. A woman fully competent, fully capable and stubborn as hell. Plan. Plan like you’ve never planned before. Spend every minute researching the world you’re about to travel into, so that when you step outside your front door you can throw the guidebook to the side, and enjoy your experiences fully.

Make friends with everyone. And I mean everyone. Bus drivers, taxi drivers, hostel workers, baristas, post office workers, random people you meet in museums and that mom with a stroller at the bus stop. Keep your ears open, your mind clear and your possibilities endless.

Experience the culture. Don’t ever block yourself off in the comfort of a hotel room or the emptiness of an American chain restaurant. Eat the local food (I don’t care how gross it sounds), go dancing – always go dancing, look for events in local papers and billboards. No matter how tired you are, remember: You only need 8 hours of sleep, and you have a TV at home. Get outside! Parks, museums, art galleries – go.

Write down everything and send your home self postcards with notes of encouragement. Remember, you won’t be here forever, but the memories will. Remind yourself of your accomplishments, so when you’re feeling lost a week after getting back, you have a piece of mail to remind you that it was only one passport stamp, and there are many more adventures to come.

And last? Stop making excuses.

If you have the ability to hold a job, you have the ability to save money. If you have the ability to save money, no matter how long it takes, you have the ability to buy a ticket to somewhere and go on an adventure. Be smart with your traveling. Challenge yourself to save as much money beforehand so you don’t have to worry about it when you’re exploring.

You are a woman, not incapable. You are an exploress, not unable. You have intellect, an open mind and a heart that loves – use them. And while you’re standing there, looking at something more beautiful than you could have imagined, meeting people who open your mind to more than you could have grasped before – breathe. Deeply and slowly. Remind yourself, “In this moment, I am happy.” And then, as you start to walk toward the beauty that’s before you, remember all those people who told you it couldn’t be done – and smile.

Nous Sommes Une Famille

Published on February 4, 2014February 9, 2014 by EmileeLeave a comment

1422392_10201971384819619_1138565577_n — London, England

Every time I see a backpacker I want to hug them.

I wan’t to ask them where they are coming from? Where they are going? And if they want to grab coffee so I can hear all about their adventures. To me, they’re not strangers – they’re family. And the familiarity of each one comes directly as a result of having been in that situation myself.

There’s something that happens when you travel. You start to view the world as a global community, instead of a planet full of strangers. Humanity is beautiful. But, so often, we only see negativity from the bubble of our media outlets.

Sometimes, though, if you’re like me, you’re driven to go find your own truth. Who are these people? The tiny characters on your TV screen. The posted faces on propaganda. The photographs and documentaries and fandoms and paintings and songs and lyrics and movies? Where do they come from? How do they live? Are they like me? Will they like me?

It’s one of my personal goals to travel to every nation I’m ethnically from. To give you a hint: there’s a lot. The current count is at eight, but those are only the ones I know of. So far, I’ve reached five of my eight countries. The only three left, being Norway, Denmark and Germany. I’m hoping that while I’m living in Europe ( OhMYGOSH – did I actually just use that sentence in real life!?) I’ll be able to knock these out as well.

Each time I visit a country that I’m from (or a culture), I understand more about myself. I get why my Irish family exaggerates – because we are story tellers. I understand why my English roots carefully select those who we allow in our inner circles – because we love well. I understand the importance of food – because it’s a commonality we all share, one that brings us all together. And with each place I visit I understand more, the intricacies of what really makes me who I am.

I think one of the most dangerous things in the world is not knowing where you come from. And, even more dangerous, not caring. If you’ve ever dabbled in genealogy you’ll know what I’m talking about when I say, there’s something almost magical about finding out about your own history and the ancestors who came before you. Even if this has nothing to do with a blood line, your culture is dependent on the society you’ve been raised in, and knowing that history is just as important.

From a Christian standpoint, I like to think about it like rationalizing the presence of the Old Testament in the bible (theology friends: please don’t shoot me). Why is it even there if most of the doctrine we adhere to is in the New Testament? Well, I’m no theologian, but I am a story teller. And I know that without the foundation and context with which to tell a story, you’re left with little more than words on a page. Without knowing what the promises are, how can we rejoice in them being fulfilled?

In a similar way, without knowing how we came to be present – how do we find purpose and meaning in continuing forward into the future?

Something beautiful happens when you take this leap and step outside your own comfort zone. With all of your belongings strapped to your back, a couple of maps you probably won’t use, and a journal you won’t ever be able to truly fill, you become infinite.

I wouldn’t say I’ve ever had an “out of body experience”. But I have had an out of mind one. Shutting off your perceptions of what the world “should be” and letting your mind get swept away in the myriad of foreign cultural possibilities, allows you to return to yourself fully.

And while traveling as a tourist is such a great experience, I don’t think I could ever overemphasize the beauty of backpacking and couchsurfing while you see the world. For those of you who don’t know, couchsurfing is exactly what it sounds like: Staying on people’s couches while you travel around.
Personally, I love using the website couchsurfing.org which is set up like a Facebook community where all of your “friends” live in every corner of the world – you just haven’t met them yet.
I’ve used the website multiple times, and always had amazing experiences. You can stay with people literally anywhere in the world, and it’s the most amazing feeling to have complete strangers willing to open their homes to you; again reinforcing the feeling of a global family.

Throughout my travels I’ve had people: cook for me, take me dancing, teach me how to mimic accents, insist that I sleep on their bed while they slept on their couch, pick me up from the bus station (a big deal when you’re lugging around a backpack) , go shopping with me, teach me about astrology, star gaze on winter nights and go to Broadway plays. I’ve experienced life because I’ve allowed life to give me experiences.

Now, when I see a chance to include someone from another culture into my own, I don’t see them as intruders or as strangers. I simply, now and forever, see them as family.

1395445_10201866727803259_188708302_n — Me and my mum in the airport just before I flew off on my backpacking trip.