5 Tips for Traveling With Food Restrictions

Published on April 26, 2017May 15, 2017 by Emilee1 Comment

I’m the girl who’s allergic to everything.

This isn’t an exaggeration, I often say that if I had been born in any other century I most certainly would be dead. My lungs are made of glass, my stomach can’t process milk protein and I have a combination of animal, seasonal and food allergies.

You may be asking why I would leave the house, if I’m constantly afflicted by such health conditions. But obviously I do. And obviously I go farther than the city I live in. The real key here is management. It’s not easy, but it’s easier once you’ve been coping with them for 26 years.

When I’m traveling, a big question I get is how on earth do I find things to eat?! Especially when I’m in a country where I don’t speak the language, it can be hard to navigate my food allergies, and keep out of hospitals.

Before we start, here’s a list of all the things my sickly self is allergic to.

Dairy
Soy (technically, but I’m growing out of this one)
Shellfish
Peanuts (I will actually die)
Cantaloupe (true story)
Spinach (growing out of this one)
Cats
Horses
Dust, hay, mold, mildew
Also. I don’t eat pork (unless it’s insensitive not to)

With all of these restrictions things can get pretty tricky. But here are my top rules for traveling without starving.

Bring Snacks from Home

I never ever ever travel somewhere without around 10 granola bars, a package of beef jerky, almonds and some fruit snacks. Why? Because those three things are packaged, pretty small (since I backpack) and can help me get through a part of the trip where either I don’t want to forage for food, or I literally cannot find anything. I’m also a huge fan of bringing fruit and vegetables on flights to a place. I have lots of other healthy eating tips on my blog post: 5 Ways to Eat Healthy When Traveling

Don’t Eat

You’re might be thinking, “Haha Emilee, you’re so funny.” Which I am (duh). But I’m actually not joking about this one. I really limit the number of meals that I have while I’m traveling because food is not the focus of my travels. That being said, I realize that this isn’t the same for everyone. Some people travel just for the food. But if I can score a hefty breakfast at my hostel then I’ll try to make it to an early dinner (with just light snacks), cutting down the number of meals I have to “figure out.”

Go for the Basics

Every country has bread. This might sound like a no-brainer, but every country has their genius in each country that put together some grain, water and yeast (or even without yeast) and baked it. You know what else each country has? Fruit. Vegetables. Meat (although be careful with marinades and seasonings).
The point of this smart-assery is that if you stick to the basics, you can avoid having problems with the food that you’re eating. For me, I know that dairy is a problem, but I also know that I’m not going to find dairy in a banana. Sticking to the basic food groups, with just a little bit of experimentation, can help to cut out the risk of problems.

Research

That being said, nobody wants to live off of bananas and bread for weeks on end, so research the country you’re visiting and see what food they are known for. If you can find an ingredient list (which you probably can #Google), then you’ll be that much closer to knowing it’s something that you can eat. DO NOT assume that people in other countries are going to know, or care, about your allergies. You might find someone, somewhere, but I spent an entire year living in France trying to convince anyone that dairy allergies are real, so good luck.

Be Prepared

I am deathly allergic to peanuts. Like I will die if I eat them. So it’s important for me to bring along medication or my EpiPen, if I’m traveling to somewhere where this might be a problem. Western Europe isn’t really as much of an issue. But let’s say that I wanted to go to Thailand. Or as I like to call it, the land where Emilee will never go because she doesn’t want to die. In that case, I would definitely have Benadryl with me, as well as my EpiPen, in case something went south. It never hurts to be over prepared, but can cost you big if you don’t take these things into consideration.

On the flip side, know what you CAN eat. Coming from the U.S. I have access to a ton of different food options, so when I travel I can have somewhat of an idea of what I can have. For instance, Indian food works great for me because most of it is non-dairy, and they don’t really use peanuts, and rarely use pork. If I can find an Indian restaurant I’m pretty good to go.

What about you? What are your tips for getting around food restrictions? Leave them in the comments, below!

8 Things That Inspired Me When I Traveled In The UK

Published on November 8, 2016December 31, 2017 by Emilee2 Comments

I’ve been to the UK/Ireland quite a few times, and I’m going back in January. My mom’s family is very proudly Scottish, Irish and English so I grew up hearing a lot of stories about these magical places called Ireland and Scotland. I wanted to visit so much that three years I finally packed a backpack and headed out solo. I’m so incredibly glad I did. I’ve met so many amazing people throughout my travels, and I love how different and beautiful each trip proves to be. Here are some of my favorite things about traveling throughout the UK (we’ll do another one on Ireland, I promise).

Glasgow, Scotland: A bun can always go higher up on your head

I’m not really sure if there’s some kind of competition for buns in the UK, but they are no joke. Glasgow is one of the funniest cities you can go to on a winter Friday night because the girls are known for their high buns, and their short skirts. And since it’s Scotland, you can imagine how cold that kind of fashion becomes. As someone who wears their hair in a bun 80% of the time, I was inspired when I went to Glasgow for the first time.

London, England: Pastries as far as the eye can see

I adore bread in all of its many forms, and the UK has some of the best sugary (not savory – that all goes to the French) breads and pastries I’ve ever tasted. I don’t know what the trick is, or how a country manages to tackle pastries with such perfection, but they are simply to die for. Something I’ve learned about Europe is that the flour there tastes so much better than what we have in the U.S. Even just from living in France, the recipes don’t work the same, and it’s so much more difficult to cook using French flour when you’re used to American. I assume there’s something similar in the UK and that what’s there is something from some mystical world, as well.

Stratford-upon-Avon, England : Tomatoes – a nutritious part of every breakfast

Okay, so I’m not sure how many people are already on this train, but I never ate tomatoes (or really vegetables) with my breakfast until I travelled around the UK. Now, I really prefer to have them with some eggs and toast and tea. It’s SO GOOD. English (or Scottish) breakfasts really are just the best, and again, I’m not sure what they do to make the food so good, there, but it really is out of this world.

Edinburgh, Scotland: Walk Through Cemeteries to Get Writing Inspiration

Okay, Harry Potter nerds. You knew this was coming. A fun fact that I learned when I was in Edinburgh was that JK Rowling stole. Yep. Flat our robbery…of names. It’s true! Many of JK Rowling’s character names come from dead people in Edinburgh cemeteries, including the notorious Tom Riddle aka Voldemort. Brilliant, huh? I’m really excited to go back this January and explore more of the geek side of Edinburgh. I was only there for a day and a half last time and it really was not enough time to satisfy my geekiness. Click the photo below for more info on the cemetery where Tom Riddle is buried.

London, England: Brown eggs are better

I grew up with chickens. And we ate their eggs. Thank god we didn’t slaughter them, as well, but my mom was pretty inclusive of the “fresh egg” policy. Unfortunately while having chickens, we also had a rooster who liked to get it on with the ladies. That being said, there were a couple of times when our lovely fresh brown eggs got cracked open into a pan with a underdeveloped chick coming out. Talk about trauma. It’s a wonder I’ve ever eaten eggs again. Luckily my mom had sympathy for me not wanting to eat brown eggs after that. The funny part was that the first time I went to London I realized there was nothing else but brown eggs in the store. Ha. Kill me. Needless to say, I got over my fear, found out brown is better, and now I won’t even buy white eggs.

Glasgow, Scotland: You will never forget the first time you see an original Van Gogh

I love Van Gogh. I always have, and I always will. Up until 2013, though, I had never seen an original (at least, not that I can remember). Scotland wouldn’t probably be the first place that you would look for an original, but that is (accidentally) the first place that I saw one. In fact there were two. And when I saw them I couldn’t believe they were real. It was a bit like that time I was in Rome and thought, “Wow, that looks just like the building from Gladiator,” as I was driving by the Colosseum.

Edinburgh, Scotland: Always visit the worst club, with the best people

On the authority of three natives, I have (without a doubt) been to the worst club in Edinburgh. How did such a blessing come about, you may ask? Well, it really comes down to striking up conversations with the locals, rather than always staying with the group. I actually can’t remember the name of the club we went to, but my pesky memory could probably find it if I was back in Edinburgh (#photographicmemory) but I can assure you – it was all it claims to be.

All the UK: Cuppa Tea, Tea, Tea, Tea

I have an addiction to tea and I, first off, blame the BBC. But secondly I blame traveling around in countries where you basically get it shoved down your throat. Word from the wise: NEVER say no when you’re offered tea the UK. Even if you just barely sip it, just take the damn cup.

Have you been to the UK? Comment below with what inspired or shocked you!

5 Ways To Eat Healthy When Traveling

Published on April 26, 2016September 14, 2016 by Emilee3 Comments

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Dublin is the starting point for a lot of my travel stories. And when it comes to learning how to eat right, as a traveler, it’s no different. Before last year I had stumbled around the globe, trying to guess how to check off my food pyramid while traveling. But it wasn’t until I was staying at a hostel in Dublin, that I found out the secret of doing so. One of the things that I’ve always loved about staying at hostels is the exchange of ideas and stories. And amidst the buzz of knowledge I met some pretty awesome people, last spring.

Last year I spent a full two weeks in Dublin, and I learned a lot about cooking in a hostel setting from some of the pro-hostel guests (those who live in the hostel) – starting when a friend came out of the kitchen with a full on salmon dinner and vegetables. Australians.

But it wasn’t until this morning, while I was reading a Facebook post from one of my friends that I realized what a global (pun. ha. ha) a problem this is. Eating healthy while traveling in HARD! So, I thought I would share some ideas and tips that have personally helped me to travel a whole lot healthier.

1.Research Beforehand: Here’s the deal. If you’re staying in a hostel, or couchsurfing – check out what cooking resources you’ll have accessible to you. Some of the best memories I have from Couchsurfing have been around making meals with my host. Don’t shy away from asking to cook a meal (even if it’s simple)! Hostels should tell you online whether they’re equipped with a full, partial, or no kitchen. Plan accordingly. The key is to not be surprised when showing up. If you know what you’ll have accessible, you can make the most of those resources. If you’re staying in a hotel, don’t think you’re off the hook, either. Usually hotels will have refrigerators that allow you to preserve your grocery finds, and you can still plan out healthy non perishable foods to have on hand.

2.Go To Grocery Stores: This was some of the first advice I received when I set off on my first backpacking adventure. Not only is it important for eating healthy, but it will also save you a LOT of cash, in the end. Eating out is expensive, and while it’s definitely fun sometimes you should also be aware that the local grocery probably has some great healthy options that will save you money and keep you on the path to healthy travel. *Pro Tip: Leave your non-perishable food in “shared food” spaces, rather than throwing it out when you leave. Help out the next hostel traveller!

My General Shopping List:
Fresh fruit/veggies
Meat bought on a daily basis
Soup
Salad in bulk
Oatmeal
Bread bought daily (rather than buying a whole loaf, which I know I would eat, I buy rolls etc.)
Eggs
Pasta/Pasta Sauce
Some kind of preserved meat like salami
Nuts (Almonds, most of the time)
Granola Bars
Butter (not to go crazy, but because I like a little with my breakfast)

3.Cook For Yourself: Look up some recipes, and find some favorites that will work well without a ton of ingredients. A lot of hostels will have basics (oil, salt, pepper, sugar) but I wouldn’t count on anything else. Something great is recipes that include throwing all ingredients in a wrap of foil and putting it in the over. Easy clean up, easy eating and usually they don’t require a whole lot of seasoning (but are oh, so yummy!). Try some of these tasty options, next time you travel.

4. Invest In Some Tupperware And Ziplock bags: Here’s the deal. From the time you step on the plane, you’re going to have people pushing terrible food options in your face (think airplane food – don’t do it). The key is to have a better, yummier and healthier option, instead. I usually take 3-4 ziplocked snacks on the plane with me including cut up veggies, pretzels, dried fruit (or natural fruit leather), turkey jerky, almonds and a bottle of water (fill it up after security). I also always take a water bottle and some bags of healthy snacks with me while I’m walking around or on tours. The biggest temptations happen when you’re FAMISHED and not thinking straight.

5. Change Your Mindset: Here’s the thing. You’re never going to be able to do something you constantly tell yourself you’re no good at doing. So change it up! Realize that you’re entitled to eat right, and that just because you’re on vacation doesn’t mean you’re entitled to “break the rules.” Healthy living isn’t a punishment, it’s a privilege. And eating healthy while you’re traveling is a reward you’re entitled to.

Kid Friendly Recipes Worth Keeping

Published on May 17, 2015May 15, 2015 by EmileeLeave a comment

If you’re an au pair like me, or even a mom or dad who just wants to get your kids to actually eat a meal, you know that feeding kids can be tricky. Eating healthy while eating yummy aren’t always two peas in a pod, but over the past year I’ve picked up some recipes which have proven to be fail proof with my kids.
I’m not gonna lie, this year has been especially challenging for me because I’m feeding an age range of 5 to 21 years old, so the taste buds are anything but similar. But regardless of how difficult, each night I have four ravenous boys pacing my kitchen for food. What’s a girl to do!?

At this point I can honestly say I don’t know what I would have done this year without Pintrest. It has been such a help when I’ve had no idea what to do, or what to feed this family. Because let’s be honest, it’s not only important to find food that tastes good and makes everyone happy. We need meals that also work with the very real issue of time constraints!
All of these recipes I’ve found I can make into a dinner in 30 – 45 minutes (total – cooking + prep time) – because let’s face it, no nanny has 3 hours to dedicate to feeding her children. Sound familiar? Here are my top 5 go-to recipes for kids (just in case you find yourself swamped with salivating children).

Whoever was the first person to come up with the idea of fajitas (or their cousins burritos/tacos) deserves a nobel peace prize. Not only do my kids love to eat food they can use their hands with, but they also like the independence of being able to put whatever they like on their plate, wrapping it up in a tortilla and calling it good. I really like being able to find recipes for copying store-bought items, so this recipe has been great for seasoning chicken, turkey and hamburger to wrap our little tortilla blankets around. CLICK HERE for the recipe! Note: I usually throw in some canned diced tomatoes with the seasoning, to help with flavor/consistency.

Everyone has their favorite pancake recipes, and I don’t want to add to the clutter of the internet, but this recipe makes simple honest to goodness buttermilk pancakes which are easily matched up with some eggs and bacon to make the perfect meal of breakfast as a stand in for dinner. This is a great meal to have when you don’t know what to make, can’t make it to the store, need something your kids love and want to use things already in your house. In my book (and my kids minds) it’s always a win. NOTE: This recipe is liquid heavy, so make sure you only add in enough of the liquid ingredients to moisten the dry ingredients to a silky texture – no one likes watery pancakes. CLICK HERE for the recipe!

I actually made this with regular (boil to prepare) ravioli and my boys loved it. Again, it’s bringing together really basic items (ravioli, pasta sauce, meat and cheese) and making something wholesome that kids love. The prep time wasn’t much, but it does take a bit of time to cook, so make sure that you have some chopped veggies for your littles (or bigs) to munch on while it’s cooking, if you get a late start! CLICK HERE for the recipe!

Okay, so this one isn’t really a meal, so much as just a life saver. Sometimes slapping a piece of cooked meat and some vegetables on a plate isn’t quite enough to fill the stomachs of your hungry children, and this is one of the easiest filler items you will ever find (not to mention, super fun for kids to help with). Add in a plate of these bad boys and you’re on a smooth path to baking your way into your children’s hearts. Just don’t expect leftovers – these things fly off the plate. CLICK HERE for the recipe!

Warning: Once you cook this recipe your kids probably won’t stop asking for it. I’m not a crazy creative cook, but I do love to put food in front of my kids that is filling, wholesome and leaves them with smiles on their faces. This recipe does it all. Not only will it make your house smell mouthwatering, but while the chicken is cooking (with only a 10 min prep time! Hallelujah!) you can be putting together a salad, mashing some potatoes or making some buttermilk biscuits ( *wink *wink). By the time the chicken is done, you’ll be in good shape to have everything for dinner ready to go! CLICK HERE for the recipe!

What are your favorite recipes for kids? Let’s share!!

Day In Paris: Musée du Luxembourg And L’atelier Du Pied De Fouet

Published on March 20, 2015April 11, 2015 by EmileeLeave a comment

Every Friday I try my best to push myself into the busy city and go see something wonderful and beautiful that Paris has to offer (hopefully dragging along some of my friends). Sometimes it’s a museum, sometimes’s it’s a garden, sometimes it’s a home of a famous person. But regardless of what it is, we try to make Friday our “fun day.”

Looking back I’m really glad we started doing this pretty much right off the bat of moving to Paris because Paris is one of those multi-layered cities where you think there are just a few things to see (Louvre, Arc de Triomphe, Eiffel Tower) but there are actually hundreds of places you’ll be sad if you miss.

So, every Friday we have an outing. And I really love them (especially since we have some sunshine, now!) A couple weeks ago we got to go see a really awesome exhibit at the Musee du Luxembourg and it was all portraits and history around the Tudor family and I just realized that I never wrote up a blog post about it – which is a shame.

I went through a pretty large part of my childhood OBSESSED with everything about the Tudor lineage, so I loved being able to see all of the beautiful original paintings! I did get to see a few of them when I was in London a couple of years ago, but the overall exhibit was a lot more extensive than anything else I’ve ever seen.

Afterwards we went to this swanky literal hole in the wall restaurant called Atelier Pied De Fouet and had the most magical burgers and fries. I don’t know why, but I seem to eat so many more burgers since living outside the U.S. But, you have to understand, when I say “burgers” I’m not talking about McDonalds. I mean juicy French burgers that drip goodness and savory sauces out the back as you try to fit their massivity somehow in your mouth for a bite. That kind.

The overall atmosphere of the restaurant was really relaxed when we got there, although it got crowded pretty quickly as the lunch rush began. The space is extremely small, so if you go visit I would suggest you do so during a non-rush hour period. The place did have Wifi (but you have to ask for the password and they print you one out). But overall I was just really reminded of Seattle by the vintage hipster feel of the restaurant and the tattooed staff. Sigh. I miss my home city so much. But if you’re in Paris and want a taste of Seattle culture, this is your place to go! (P.s. This place is kind of pricey – for a burger and fries it was 14 euro, which is a lot more than we would usually pay. The burger was worth it, and HUGE, but I want to make sure you know what you’re walking into) Cheers!

10321159_10205443365576968_5838138141468167580_o — If I were Queen Elizabeth I…

Review: Merci Cafe

Published on March 18, 2015March 19, 2015 by Emilee1 Comment

This cafe is one of the most hipster cool experience you’ll find (Paris or otherwise) while begin a great cafe, it’s also filled wall to wall with used books. In addition to the antlers hanging on the walls, there are also vintage chandeliers that are just lovely. There is also a lovely store adjoining that has everything for your hipster needs ( no really, you’ll understand when you walk in).

It took us a couple of times to get into this cafe because the first time we tried to go it was a Saturday – which was a mistake in the first place. In fact, I would advise staying away from such establishments on Saturdays in general. Saturdays are the French “go out-hang out” days, so you’ll probably find yourself packed in a place if you do. Sundays, in contrast are a great day to go out (especially early) because most French people stay in with their families on Sundays, or do things that don’t involve going out (unless it’s to a park or something).

Overall the experience was great and our servers were just the nicest.

Ordered: Banana, Apple and Kiwi smoothy (so good!)

Where: 111 Boulevard Beaumarchais 73003 Paris, France

Went: Friday, March 6th, 2015 around 1pm

Wifi: Unknown. I was enjoying myself so much that I forgot to check.

Review: Royal Bar

Published on March 11, 2015April 11, 2015 by EmileeLeave a comment

This little darling cafe feels like you’ve passed back through time when you walk through the doors. While feeling like I should have been writing the next great American novel about the war torn past I never had, I enjoyed a pot of the most delightful tea and nibbled on lemon squares that were out of this world.

The space is small and intimate, so I can imagine it could get crowded quite easily during rush hours, but when we went it was just simply us, one older gentleman and the server – absolute bliss.

Ordered: Black Tea, Lemon dessert

Where: 19 rue du Parc Royal 75003 Paris, France (Marais Nord, 3ème, Marais)

Went: Friday, March 6th, 2015 around 10am

Wifi: Nope. In fact there’s a sign that says to leave your computer

Café Review: Coutume

Published on February 17, 2015April 11, 2015 by Emilee3 Comments

I went to this café called Coutume last week and I really loved the experience! I thought I would let people (especially English speakers) know about it, because there have been a lot of less than desirable experiences with Paris establishments, so this one really stood out! First off – the details:

When: February 13th, 2015 – We went early in the morning, around 10:30am.

Who: With two other friends (One American, One English)

So, we walked into this cafe not knowing what to expect, and the thing that I noticed right away was that people were speaking English! In fact, ALL the baristas were speaking English! If you’ve been to Paris before, you’ll understand what a phenomena this is.

We were immediately greeted, seated and chose our drinks. I later got breakfast too – I will say, per usual “pancakes” aren’t really pancakes, more compact and dense, but still good. The overall atmosphere reminded me a lot of Seattle in that it was edgy, relaxed, artistic, earthy and everything a café should be (in my opinion, of course).

Our baristas were cheeky, hilarious and so nice! They gave us such a fun experience and helped us find things on the menu etc. Overall, such a great experience!

Oh, and they have WIFI (again, if you’ve been to Paris – not the same as in the U.S.)!!

Pintrest Is My Friend, And Food

Published on December 8, 2014December 8, 2014 by Emilee3 Comments

I have Bisquick in my fridge.
Probably not the most exciting sentence you’ve read today; but it gets better. You see, the adventure lies in how the Bisquick got there. Because it didn’t come from the store.

I’m a self professed stress cooker, so when I came to France and saw everything around me different in the grocery stores, my stressed out self became more stressed about my chosen de-stressing activity.

But never fear, I did figure out a way to get my favorite treats, still. And they’ve been a hit with the family, as I’ve shared recipes with them, too! Thank God for Pintrest. Here are some of my favorites, so you can enjoy them even if you’re not living 5,000 miles away from the US.

Bisquick

I kept finding recipes that said something along the lines of, “Just throw in some Bisquick.” Which is great, except for when you don’t have Bisquick within a thousand miles of your house. Luckily, this blog has an excellent recipe for a homemade Bisquick which turned out great and worked brilliantly in my other recipes.

Fajitas

Every Friday we have fajitas. I’ve tried and tried to have different meals, thinking the boys can’t really want to eat the same thing every week…but they do. And they let me know. Like when I made stir-fry and one of them asked, “But can I just put the meat in a tortilla and make a fajita?” Unfortunately there isn’t just a pack of fajita seasoning that you can grab at the grocery store, here. Fortunately, this lovely blog had my back. (Also Taco Seasoning – WARNING: A bit spicy)

Pizza Dough

There isn’t really an option in France to just order a pizza “without cheese.” And as someone with a dairy allergy, that makes it really hard for me to have pizza, now. But lucky me, I found this recipe that helped me make some goodness at home so I can have a treat when I’m in the mood for a little Italy, and less France.

Cake

It was one of my boys’ birthdays a couple of weeks ago, and I was asked to make a couple of cakes for his birthday. The only problem? There aren’t really box mixes in this country (and the few that do exist aren’t worth even trying to make). Which meant heading to Pintrest for a recipe that would tell me how to make a cake from scratch. It wasn’t actually that hard, but following the instructions with two screaming boys running around made concentrating just a tad more difficult.

Icing

This was one of the funniest things I made, not because I haven’t made it before, but because icing is just incredibly NOT French. French people do not ice cakes. The kids could not even handle how much sugar there was, but they loved it. The looks on their faces as they ran and told their brothers about this new treat was absolutely priceless. (Recipe)

Non French Cooking In France: Episode 1

Published on September 11, 2014September 11, 2014 by Emilee2 Comments

This is not my picture, but it is what it looked like. I was too busy eating mine to take glam pictures.

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the part of the show when I cook things in France that are not French. It’s true that France is known for it’s cuisine and, as an American living here, I feel incredibly inspired by that. But, the facts are – living here is like living in a box with baguettes, some wine and an assortment of cheese. Yes, you can survive, but since 2/3 of those things are personal allergies, it’s not going to be very fun for me.

With today’s kitchen adventures, I went through quite the adventure to bring everything together, but here goes nothing.

First off, rules of the kitchen:

1. Make sure there are measuring cups/spoons BEFORE you start.

2. Check to see if the country you live in sells baking powder/baking soda.

3. Don’t get discouraged if it takes you an hour to find 6 ingredients in the store.

4. Suggested soundtrack cleanse: Taylor Swift (to make you happy), Sam Smith (to make you sad) and Frozen (so you can let it all go).

For this episode, I decided I would take advantage of the absolute OBSESSION with peaches in this part of France, and make a crumble (which also doesn’t require baking soda or powder) and voila!

Here’s the original recipe I was following, in case you get tired of my rambling:

1. Spend an hour in the “Supermarché” trying to find ingredients. Shake the boxes and cross your fingers that they’re actually what you need – cause, let’s be real, you can’t read the packages.

2. Grease your pan with butter, because there’s not enough of that in the recipe itself…just grab whatever looks like it will fit your stuff. Set the oven to something that’s not 250 degrees – because in France it’s CELSIUS, yo. Push some buttons, turn some nobs and eventually get it to somewhere around 180 degrees (which is something close to 350 degrees in Farenheight, don’t ask me, I’m just here for the food).

3. Use a knife, cave man style, to skin the peaches (because there isn’t a peeler, duh).

4. Throw them in a bowl with some sugar that looks about 3 tbsp, some cinnamon (3/4 tsp(ish)) and a couple of squeezes of vanilla extract (1/2 teaspoon). It’s probably going to look your dog threw it up, but it will smell like autumn and happy thoughts.

5. Dump everything in the pan you’ll be baking in. Wash the bowl in the cold water, since the hot water takes 3 hours to warm. Dry it thoroughly. Combine “dry ingredients” aka 1 cup of flour…as in an actual kids cup. Plastic rainbow, yes please. Same amount for oats, and 1 cup brown sugar. Mix.

Maybe just a bit more, butter -- for a snack. — Maybe just a bit more, butter — for a snack.

6. After everything dry is mixed, add in 1 cup of butter. But, since the butter isn’t labeled with measurements, just go ahead and cut as much as you want. It’s France. There’s no such things as too much butter.

7. After everything gets crumblyumtious, sprinkle it like fairy dust over the top of the peach ~~dog barf~~ filling, you have in the pan.

8. Throw it in the oven for about 45 minutes. But, since you can’t figure out the heating system until half way through, you might want to leave it in a little longer. Especially since the heat was set only for the bottom elements.

9. Take out of oven gingerly, trying your very best not to burn yourself, break the ceramic pan or permanently burn a counter. Allow to cool for a couple of hours.

10. Feed to darling brats, who will exclaim, through malicious grins, that they can’t stand it because they don’t like sugar…Share with parents, instead, and have them find value in you for something miraculously good.

The End.

And for those of you who would like the ACTUAL Recipe, here it is:

Fresh Peach Crisp

Prep Time: 15mn

Cook Time: 45mn

Total Time: 1hr

INGREDIENTS

6 cups fresh peaches, peeled, pitted, and sliced – about 6-7 peaches
3/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
3 tablespoons sugar
1 cup + 3 tablespoons flour
1 cup old fashioned oats
1 cup brown sugar
1 cup butter, cold, cut into cubes

DIRECTIONS

Pre-heat your oven to 350 degrees.
Grease a 9×13 inch casserole dish.
In a large bowl, toss peaches with cinnamon, vanilla, 3 tablespoons sugar and 3 tablespoons flour. Pour the peaches into the greased casserole dish.
In a separate large bowl, combine 1 cup flour with old fashioned oats, and brown sugar. Cut in butter until you have a crumbly consistency.
Pour the crumbly topping on top of the peaches.
Bake in the oven, uncovered for 45-50 minutes.
*Notes: Some of you have suggested that this calls for too much butter. If a cup seems like too much for you, feel free to reduce the amount to 1/2 cup. If you want your Fresh Peach Crisp to be extra crisp, bake for 5-10 minutes longer, making sure to keep a close eye on it. I personally love the end result using a full cup of butter.