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Your Questions Answered: Becoming An Au Pair

Published on October 13, 2015January 15, 2016 by EmileeLeave a comment

I’ve been getting a lot of questions, lately, from various sources about my au pair experience and I thought I would do a kind of “post au pair year” post to answer a few of your questions! So here it is, the good the bad and the ugly.

One of the questions I get the most is whether or not I “liked” my experience. First off, this is a broad question because asking if I “liked” an entire year of my life is about as easy to answer as if you asked a five year old if they liked the last 24 hours of their life – they probably don’t remember, there were probably good and bad things that happened, but they’re still alive so it’s all good.

The thing is, being an au pair is the same as being in any other work profession – there are good days and there are bad days. The thing that is different, is that you don’t get to leave work when you’re having a bad day. You can’t walk away from your boss, you can’t fake sick days (or even take sick days, in general – I knew several au pairs (myself included) who worked through colds, the flu, and even the chicken pox. That’s right – she didn’t get off from work when she had chicken pox). While being romaticized mentally by many, I would say the most accurate/closest portrayal I’ve ever seen is The Nanny Diaries. It’s no piece of cake, that’s for sure.

The best parts of being an au pair would probably be the same as when you’re working as a nanny – you have A LOT of free time. While some families require for you to work in the morning (taking the kids to school) as well as the afternoon, my au pair family only required that I worked after school, meaning I started work every day at about 3pm (NOTE: Except Wednesdays – which, in France, is a no/half school day – depending on the age of your children). Which means I had time during the day to go out and do things, or just stay in my house and work on projects. This also meant that I was able to come back a little bit later from (the many) weekend trips that I made.

This brings up another really great fact and that is: All au pair families are not the same. These differences can include, but are not limited to:

Whether you work mornings or just afternoons
Whether you have a room in the house or separate
Whether your transportation (public transportation card/card/etc) is paid for
Whether your communication is paid for – some families will pay for your phone
Whether your au pair family will have you babysit on weekends
Whether the family will pay you for working additional days/nights (some don’t)
Whether your language classes/lessons are paid for
How much you get paid and how you get paid (direct deposit/cash each week/monthly)

Most of these things didn’t work in my favor with my au pair situation. While I did have weekend freedom, as well as no need to babysit (generally, since there were older kids who could), I didn’t have any additional resources paid for, which did make living a little bit harder, overall (since actual pay only came to 80 euro/week). This is something to REALLY think about/ask about when you’re finding an au pair family. Look at your own personal finances and make sure that things align with what your income will be for the next year of living in a foreign country and make sure that you fill in gaps with your own savings, before the move.

My biggest piece of advice, in general, would be for you to check, double check, Skype, phone call, email and talk to your potential family as much as possible. I would also highly suggest talking to past nannies or au pairs that they’ve had. While I wouldn’t recommend the family that I worked with, I have been asked by other au pairs who were thinking about working for them, and I was able to let them know. Communication is key! This is also a great indicator of how you will be able to communicate once you move there – if your au pair family isn’t willing to communicate with you while you’re abroad that might be an indicator of other underlying problems with the position, which will come up once you actually get there.

I would also say make sure you have a really great support system. The only reason I was able to come out sane, after my time in France was because I had such an amazing support system back at home that was encouraging me, sending me snail mail and Skyping me. Asking your au pair family about whether they know other au pair families in their city, s also a really great way to connect with other au pairs.

When it comes down to it, being in a foreign country is really isolating and can be incredibly lonely (like a whole different level of lonely than I had ever experienced before). Having this support system really CAN make or break your experience. Also – if you know you enjoy living in a city and being active socially don’t take a position in a small town. I know it might seem adventurous, but overall it probably isn’t going to be a good decision. Keep true to yourself, even if the “perfect” family doesn’t come around right away, it’s worth making sure they’re the right family for you, before making the leap.

Maneuvering the realm of being an au pair is an adventure that isn’t for everyone. There are benefits to leaving your comfort zone and striking out in the world, but make sure that you look before you leap. As I always say with any kind of travel, don’t take on something in order to escape something else. Make sure you do your research, and make sure you aren’t settling.

And, as always: If you ever have questions or comments, or find yourself in an au pair position that just doesn’t seem right email me at morehouseemilee@gmail.com

5 Myths About Traveling Alone

Published on October 5, 2015 by Emilee2 Comments

As I’m starting to plan out my next adventure with two of my friends, I’ve been being reminded of how different it is to plan out things with a group vs. being a solo traveller. One of the biggest changes I’ve noticed is the reaction people have when I tell them that I’m flying overseas…with my friends.
The moment I say I’m traveling with two other girls there are smiles, story swapping and all kinds of laughter and fun. Since I’m human and therefore not exactly anti-acceptance I’ve gone along with it for a while, but being the solo traveller that I naturally am, it has started to bother me. Why is it so much more societally acceptable for a woman to travel with a couple of friends than for her to travel by herself? Do we still, subconsciously, live within a world where a woman needs to be “chaperoned” in order to safely traverse the world around her?

Of course you should all know my feelings on the matter. But as an added bonus, I thought I would debunk some myths that people told me about traveling as a woman, based off of my personal experience.

1. You won’t have any friends to talk or share memories with: I’m am a pretty hard core introvert. I’m not the most outgoing person in general, but something kicks into gear when I travel. There’s something beautiful about having thousands of people around you who you don’t know, and may never see. For me, it’s so freeing, and it’s one of my favorite things to make friends with the people I meet along the way. Whether it’s meeting people in hostels, people I’m staying with or just people I meet on the road – I have some of the coolest stories based just off of the people I’ve met and adventured with. Would I have been as outgoing if I was traveling with other people? Honesty? I don’t think so.

2. You’ll get lost and never be able to find your way back. When I travel, I don’t have an iPhone that works outside of Wifi, I don’t have any special GPS or anything magical that makes me able to travel flawlessly. Sometimes I get lost, and sometimes I get to make new friends just by asking for directions. Those are some of the beautiful aspects of travel, though! And you would be surprised how much you learn about map reading when it’s your only way of getting around! I know – sounds like something our parents did, but traveling without any kind of help has always worked beautifully for me (no horror stories to tell). If you’re really bothered, you can always pay a small amount of money for a personal GPS, as well.

3. It’s dangerous. Here’s some news – life is dangerous. And if you live cowering in a corner, you’ll never experience some of the most beautiful moments. I live by a mantra: Don’t be scared, be prepared. Research, research, research! Know about the country and culture – know about the people and the places you’re going to. The safest I’ve ever felt is having plans (even if I throw them out in the end). This is also a great opportunity to make friends when you travel! Having people know you, is a great way to make sure you have a contact if something does happen.

4. You won’t get as much out of the experience: Like I said, I’ve been on some pretty epic adventures in my time. I’ve never regretted traveling alone, and while I would never discourage traveling with friends, I would definitely say don’t wait to travel just because you can’t find people to go with. I waited two years for people to go with me on a backpacking trip and I regret that SO MUCH – as soon as I actually bought my ticket and went on my trip it was amazing to see how many of my friends started getting interested in traveling more. Be a leader! Take a step forward and embrace the adventures that are waiting for you!

5. Something will go wrong/you’ll die: It always amazes me how many people told me of how my travel adventures would result in my untimely death. Obviously, I’m not dead yet. And the thing about this myth is that life is never guaranteed to us, no matter how carefully we live it. If I die while traveling, I will die doing something I love with every ounce of my being (not a bad way to go). And statistically speaking, travel adventures are a lot less likely to land you in the morgue than the general public seems to believe. While I do, of course support being informed, careful and vigilant when traveling, I also encourage not allowing the unfounded fear of others (especially if they aren’t speaking from any personal experience) to dictate how you live your life.

Plane Ticket, December 2015: And The Winner Is….

Published on September 29, 2015 by Emilee1 Comment

Today I’m challenging myself to write a blog post during my lunch break. It has been way too long since I’ve really updated you all on my travel life, but never worry – there is a trip in the works!

As you all know, I’m quite the solo traveler. I love to travel alone, and I think I may always, BUT there is a time and a place for changing one’s habits. This time the time is December 24^th, and the place is – of course, IRELAND.

That’s right, I’m heading back to my favorite Island and this time I’m bringing my crew of two – two of my very close friends, with me! I’m so excited for this upcoming adventure for so many reasons.

I get to show them all of my favorite spots in Ireland, London (and maybe even elsewhere – who knows!?)
I get to introduce my two lives – European and American together and my friends in the UK/Ireland will get to meet my two best friends!
It’s going to be awesome. Honestly. I’m so excited.

The plane tickets have already been bought and now all that’s left is for us to wait a few months! I honestly could not think of anything more perfect than spending Christmas in London and New Years in Dublin.

Honestly, when I found out this adventure was even a possibility my heart felt like it started to beat for the first time in three months. The past months have been such a whirlwind of crazy. I’ve had two jobs and three houses to live in and I’m finally ready, I feel, for things to settle where they are for a bit of time.

It was icing on the cake for me to find out I would be spending the Christmas holiday season with some of my favorites!

Have any suggestions for where we should go!? Message me with your favorite spots in Ireland, Scotland, Wales and London and we’ll try to make it over!

In the meantime, here are some of my favorite pictures from Ireland – I’m so excited to go back!

See you soon, Ireland!

6 People You’ll Meet While Traveling In Europe

Published on September 8, 2015September 8, 2015 by Emilee3 Comments

While traveling in Europe over the past few years I’ve met a LOT of people. The streets are always filled with travelers eager to get a taste of the art, history and overall experience that Europe has to offer; and as a solo traveler, I am always more than happy to share my journey with them. Toward the end of my last trip I started to take note of the trends in who I was sharing planes, trains and airplanes with and I thought I would share a few with you lovelies. So here they are – have you seen them? Leave a message with who I missed!

1. The Recent Grad: These lovelies are the class of 20__ and are loud and proud about it. Whether hailing from the “great” U.S.A!, Canada, Australia or some other English speaking country, you’ll probably be able to pick these travelers out of a crowd by their looks of beautiful naivety and their constant need to tell everyone that they’ve recently graduated from college. Little do their beautiful soft minds know, we don’t care so much what you’ve learned from a book, but how you’ve applied it so far. Getting out of your comfort zone is a great starting point, but sometimes I want to tell them to not let that one three month European trip be the last time they push themselves beyond it.

2. The Family: Strollers in tow, these parents aren’t quite ready to settle down behind their white picket fences (at least, not all the time) and are out and about with their growing family. And don’t get them wrong, these families will be climbing mountains with sleeping babies strapped to their chest. I love seeing these families because I think it’s so important to introduce children to travel early on. My love of travel is because from a very young ageI was packed up and traveling all around the US – the fearlessness of travel is a learned attribute and I love seeing these kids learning it at such a young age.

3. The Band Of Brothers: There’s something beautifully bonding about the group of guys that travels the world together. Or at least that’s what they’ve all told me. But it’s not only the dudes who are bro-ing out. Shout out to the ladies who also have some tight knit pacts binding them together over countries and continents. Whether it’s a post graduation exploration, or just because their parents didn’t want them to be murdered when traveling alone (because that’s what happens to all us solo travelers – duh.) these groups can be fun to watch – and that’s pretty much all you’ll probably have the opportunity to do. Groups generally aren’t as inclusive as couples or singles (or even families) who travel. In much of the same way there are pros and cons to traveling alone, it’s a blessing and a curse to already have your friends with you when seeing the world.

4. The Boho Hipster: Yeah, yeah. We know. You are above living under the thumb of “the man” so you’ve decided to spend a “season” wandering the earth seeking enlightenment. Believe me, if you’ve met this person you will know it – mainly because they will be constantly reminding you of their alternative lifestyle. And you know what? That’s okay. Props to them – I don’t know how anyone travels with that many additional restrictions to their lifestyles. That’s right, I’m talking to you vegan, glamper who lives off Nietzsche, vintage wines and posts Instagram selfies of your daily lens flare/travel quote/#nofilter #travelpics #blessed.

5. The Nomad: A bit different from the Bohemian (mainly monetary differences, if we’re honest) this person actually doesn’t have anywhere else to go, and therefore approaches the world as their back yard, ready to be perused and explored. Hobbies may include, but are not limited to: epic story telling, guitar playing, resourceful repurposing, dread lock growing, Volkswagen driving, smoking certain plants that may or may not be legal and hanging out with the locals around dinner tables, fire pits and hostel front doors with long talks and smokes at 2am.

6. The Couple: Yes they’re in love. Yes you’re going to know it at every. single. moment. you’re with them. Whether they’re newly-weds, the couple who just never got their honeymoon or the empty nesters/retirees who are ready to take on the world, Europe called and they answered. While some of these couples may seem like an awkward alliance, don’t pass them by so quickly – some of my favorite introductions I’ve ever had were with older couples who had life advice, travel advice and were just solidly awesome. I love seeing the same enthusiasm I have as a single twenty something reflected in the eyes of couples who have been married for forty years. Wanderlust knows no age.

Life of Pi

Published on August 29, 2015August 29, 2015 by EmileeLeave a comment

“Why do people move? What makes them uproot and leave everything they’ve known for a great unknown beyond the horizon? Why climb this Mount Everest of formalities that make you feel like a beggar? Why enter into this jungle of foreigness where everything is new, strange and difficult?

The answer is the same the world over: people move in the hope of a better life.”

April 1st, 2015

Published on April 1, 2015 by EmileeLeave a comment

Happy April Fools Day, everyone!! Or, as we like to call it in France: April FISH DAY.

‪#‎ThisIsRealLife‬

A Day In Paris: Picasson Museum, Merci Cafe

Published on March 19, 2015April 11, 2015 by EmileeLeave a comment

Life in Paris isn’t all crepes and picturesque walks along the Seine. But sometimes they are, and I think it’s fun to share with all of you darlings what one of the fun outing days of my life looks like! This time the feature was the Picasso Museum along with some other beautiful spots in Paris.

We started off in the 3rd Arrondissement, which is the most “hipster” spot I’ve found in Paris (so far). There are lots of little shops, chic cafes and art shops and galleries. If you’re looking for a more low key artist vibe while in Paris this is the spot to head to.

Our first stop (because rule #1 is never go to a museum hungry) was a sweet little cafe located near the Picasso Museum named Royal Bar. This little cafe was the quintessential Parisian experience. It was filled with art and made me feel like I had been transported back to the Paris of Hemingway. The tea was lovely (although, fair warning – when you order you’re ordering a pot, not a cup, so it’s a bit more expensive) and the man working there gave us some of the best lemon square type deserts I’ve ever had. It was sublime.

After we had had some caffeine and some little desserts we headed over to see Picasso, because if you’re in Paris and don’t see Picasso what are you even doing with your life? It has kind of become ridiculous how many original pieces of classical art I’ve seen since living in Europe. It’s like my history books have jumped off of the pages, and it’s pretty incredible. Picasso hasn’t really been a favorite of mine, in the past, but I’m a strong believer that seeing work by “The Masters” makes an artist more rounded.

The museum was such a beautiful building, I loved being able to see the amazing architecture and I fell in love with the floors. Yes, the floors. There’s something about black and white checkered floors that will get me every time.

After we’d tipped our hats to Picasso, Cezanne and Matisse we headed over to walk along the shops surrounding. We found this absolutely beautiful shop called Papier Tigre. I loved the geometric feel of their designs and the minimalism. If I wasn’t a broke expat I would have bought the whole store.

Our next stop was for some yummy drinks and the best wall decoration any place can have – books! This was actually our second time at this Merci cafe because the first time we went we made the mistake of going on a Saturday. In case you don’t know about Paris, some of the best advice I have for actually getting into places is to not go on Saturdays. Go any other day of the week, but Saturday is the “going out” day (while Sunday is more for staying in with family) in France. My partner in crime ordered a Pear flavored alcohol and I grabbed a banana, apple and kiwi smoothy which was just so good (even though it sounds awkward). It seemed fitting to end our day with a such a lovely cafe. Our day was so lovely and I love finding new spots that make me feel a little less like a stranger in Paris.

Tweetup: JACafe

Published on March 17, 2015March 17, 2015 by EmileeLeave a comment

Being in Paris can feel REALLY isolating, sometimes. You would think, in a city with 7 million people, that it would be easier than a lot of places to make new friends, but living in such a huge city means having a lot of other obstacles, as well (not to mention a language barrier). One of my goals, since being here, has been to make more Parisian friends, though, so I’ve really been trying to be intentional about going out and meeting some new people, despite my desire to sit inside all day and read.

Last Friday I took up the challenge, though and headed over to Coutume Cafe. It was such a fun time because I got the opportunity to meet up with some absolutely delightful women (and one guy!) who all live in Paris, all through our mutual Twitter followings! I know, I know, you’re all thinking it’s weird that I went and hung out with random people from Twitter – but it wasn’t! It was so much fun, and already having the basis of being travelers, Twitter peeps and bloggers (some of us) made it even more fun to meet up!

I went by myself, so it was a little bit intimating at first, but I ended up meeting some amazing people and finally making some new friends in this enormous city. It just goes to show you, stubbornness is a key factor in getting things done when you’re living the expat life. Here are some of the lovelies I met, so you all can follow them too!

Ami Cadugan @amytakesonparis

Elodie’s Paris @Paris_by_Elodie

Mama Loves Paris @mamalovesparis

Catherine Nicholson @ACatinParis

Laetitia @Thebestinparis

Zheng-Hao Chen @TeddyCHEN

Paula Schuck @inkscrblr

Pola @jettingaround

Review: Royal Bar

Published on March 11, 2015April 11, 2015 by EmileeLeave a comment

This little darling cafe feels like you’ve passed back through time when you walk through the doors. While feeling like I should have been writing the next great American novel about the war torn past I never had, I enjoyed a pot of the most delightful tea and nibbled on lemon squares that were out of this world.

The space is small and intimate, so I can imagine it could get crowded quite easily during rush hours, but when we went it was just simply us, one older gentleman and the server – absolute bliss.

Ordered: Black Tea, Lemon dessert

Where: 19 rue du Parc Royal 75003 Paris, France (Marais Nord, 3ème, Marais)

Went: Friday, March 6th, 2015 around 10am

Wifi: Nope. In fact there’s a sign that says to leave your computer

Solitude & Surrender

Published on March 10, 2015 by EmileeLeave a comment

I was Facebook messaging a friend this past week when the topic of the two of us having millennial long conversations, when I get back to Seattle, came up. See, this particular friend is quite special in that she and I have (more than once) spent most of the night talking about nothing, and after a year – there will be a lot more than a little something to talk about upon my arrival back in Seattle.

But, as we were messaging, I had a thought that I really hadn’t considered before: When was the last time I had talked to someone?
You know, like not a “hello” or talking about work, or being afraid you’re keeping someone up due to the time difference, or being told that one of the kids might be sick so watch out for vomit when you pick him up from school – but actually TALKED to someone.

You know, like sit down and talk about how you’re actually doing, opening up and fully “talking.”

I realized it had been a while.

Don’t get me wrong, I have awesome friends in France (and duh, we talk), but the reality is that I’ve spent more time alone over the past 7 months than I ever have before. I know, I know, all of you extroverts are yelling at the top of your cyber lungs that I need to go out and party more, MEET PEOPLE! And all of you introverts are thinking, “Wow, I could use some of that. Alone time sounds blissful.”

But I don’t think it’s as easy (or fair) to chalk this occupational hazard/perk to strictly being a “bad” or a “good” thing. There are both benefits and detriments to having so much time with myself. For one thing, me and myself know each other quite well, now (please read that in as sane a context as possible).

The reason being that when you have a lot of time to yourself, you have to face your good and your bad, your greatest accomplishments and your biggest fears. In those times of silence you have to find balance with yourself because there is no one else to help you. And you have to make real actual decisions, rather than burying holes to “deal with them later.” In short, you have to get to know yourself.

And let me tell you, it’s not always comfortable.

But facing your fears, anxieties and inhibitions never is – and, of course, it’s something we all must (or, at least, should do at one point or another. So whilst I’ve away in France, I figure, now is as good a time as any to get some of these insecurities out of the way.

Exhibit A:

I remember writing a post a while back about how I “couldn’t draw” (the reason being that I never felt that I could be good enough to even try, since my older brother is the superior artist in the family).

Well I’m facing that demon, and I’ve been forcing myself to draw every day for the past (almost) month. And you know what? I’ve discovered something that I never never never never thought I would: I really like drawing.

I’ve also discovered that being committed to doing something every day doesn’t mean you won’t feel so nervous you’re shaking, when you start a project, or that you won’t feel like throwing up when you show people the finished product – convinced they’ll spot every flaw your own eye is magnifying x1000.

But I’ve always liked to think that an artist isn’t someone who is somehow superior in the arts to the rest of humanity, but just someone who has learned to push past those specific demons and create despite their taunting inner voices.

Because, when it comes down to it, I think some of the biggest battles we face in the journey to creating ourselves, are the seemingly invisible and silent ones trapped within our own minds. And over these past months, I’ve begun to learn what it means to challenge the things that I‘ve had holding me back.

In the silence I’ve found strength.

These past 7 months have proved to be a time of more battles than I ever thought I could face. Now, looking back to the person who stepped on the plane to France, I feel like I was a hundred years younger; again, a good and bad thing.

But, if I had to assign one word to the past months, it wouldn’t be a negative one (compared to a couple months ago, since my life literally felt like it was going up in flames). But, instead, one that I’ve felt like God has been whispering over my life the past few weeks, specifically: Surrender.

Now don’t get this wrong – surrendering, in this case, does not mean giving up on a mission. It doesn’t mean stepping away from the cause, or breaking down.

If anything, it means the exact opposite.

It means realizing that I have something to fight for that is bigger than myself; and that I have people around me to help me along the way. It’s completely out of my nature (and SO hard) to admit that I ever need help. Help has always equated to weakness in my past.

But it has been such a journey the past months to see how weakness is not what has been shown through the actions of others, but how incredibly strong I am because of the people who have held me up in my times of need. And beyond that, a heavenly Father who hasn’t left me at any point along the way.

Life has not turned out as I expected. Things have not gone the way that I wanted them to, or that I planned them to. But that’s okay. And realizing that has been a journey of its own. But I know there’s a greater purpose for the fire that refines us.

And even though it’s not always the easiest or the most convenient, sometimes the thing we need to hear the most, in the silence, is the whisper of our Creator to take courage, and to keep moving forward.