nanny – Page 2 – Darkk Horse Travel

Tweetup: JACafe

Published on March 17, 2015March 17, 2015 by EmileeLeave a comment

Being in Paris can feel REALLY isolating, sometimes. You would think, in a city with 7 million people, that it would be easier than a lot of places to make new friends, but living in such a huge city means having a lot of other obstacles, as well (not to mention a language barrier). One of my goals, since being here, has been to make more Parisian friends, though, so I’ve really been trying to be intentional about going out and meeting some new people, despite my desire to sit inside all day and read.

Last Friday I took up the challenge, though and headed over to Coutume Cafe. It was such a fun time because I got the opportunity to meet up with some absolutely delightful women (and one guy!) who all live in Paris, all through our mutual Twitter followings! I know, I know, you’re all thinking it’s weird that I went and hung out with random people from Twitter – but it wasn’t! It was so much fun, and already having the basis of being travelers, Twitter peeps and bloggers (some of us) made it even more fun to meet up!

I went by myself, so it was a little bit intimating at first, but I ended up meeting some amazing people and finally making some new friends in this enormous city. It just goes to show you, stubbornness is a key factor in getting things done when you’re living the expat life. Here are some of the lovelies I met, so you all can follow them too!

Ami Cadugan @amytakesonparis

Elodie’s Paris @Paris_by_Elodie

Mama Loves Paris @mamalovesparis

Catherine Nicholson @ACatinParis

Laetitia @Thebestinparis

Zheng-Hao Chen @TeddyCHEN

Paula Schuck @inkscrblr

Pola @jettingaround

Paris Fashion 2015: Ladies

Published on March 13, 2015March 13, 2015 by Emilee1 Comment

So, you want to dress like a Parisian? Well great, because I happen to live in Paris and LOVE fashion (so much that I have a college degree in it). Living in Paris has been such a struggle (#firstworldproblems) because I love fashion, but I am/will be absolutely broke while I’m living here. So no Paris shopping sprees for me, as much as I would love to. (That being said, I have bought a few choice items that I’ll love forever.)

Today when I was sitting on the metro, drooling over a girl’s shoes, I thought: People probably want to know what’s going on for this side of the pond, right!? So, from one fashion addict to another, I’ve decided to fulfill your dreams and desires. At least, from my perspective. There are obviously a lot of different clothing choices, and it’s hard to just make a “quick list” of everything, but here are some of the items/trends that I see on a day to day basis!

1. Scarves: The stereotype about Europeans wearing scarves is true, and I’m so glad. A scarf is one way to throw in a print, a different texture or just some fun into your outfit, and the French are great at it! Since French people generally seem to spend more money on statement items, scarves are also a great way to inexpensively add new flavor to an otherwise neutral colored outfit! And speaking of statement items…

2. Leather Jacket: Let’s talk leather jackets! Oh my word. Everyone has one, and they are BEAUTIFUL. I’m absolutely in love with leather in general, but I love the jackets that are effortlessly thrown over a spring dress or a cute flowy top. It is my firm belief that buying a well fitting leather jacket is a kind of rite of passage into womanhood (I do acknowledge my animal rights friends who won’t like this – but it’s my opinion, sorry!).

3. Boots: The trends that I’m seeing a lot of right now, in Paris, are ankle boots of every style though mostly black and brown. Again, leather (bien sûr!). I love that the French keep fashion simple while using detailing to tell their fashion story, instead of overindulging in frills and whistles (save that for the buildings). Another thing on the hot item list are simple leather riding boots (generally a lighter brown) that are knee high. Trending: Timberland logger style boots – try them with some floral skinnies for a soft and sweet/kick ass style punch. And speaking of skinnies…

4. Jeans: Skinny jeans are here to stay…at least for now. The twenty something Parisian woman has dark colored jeans that fit just right. You can tell that she’s spent the time and money to find her brand and her fit. I’ve heard that 70s bell bottoms are coming back, but I haven’t seen them on the streets, yet. I have, however started to see the return of the overall – talk about 90s flashback.

5. Phone Cases: Whether it’s an iPhone or a different smart phone, the case is another accessory that just can’t be ignored. Just think how often you’re pulling that out every day!? The cases I’m seeing are generally geometric with a neutral color or solid with a pop of color. While prints don’t seem to be as popular, there are some minimalist ones I’ve seen that I love.

6. Nails: Speaking of the hands that are holding that trendy phone, French nails are well kept – although not as overly done as to look it. If there’s one motto for French style it’s:

“Try your best without looking like you ever tried.”

Either keep the color a solid dark dramatic, a pastel spring shade or natural with just a clear coat of polish. No patterns, no crazy long fakes. Work what you’ve got, lady!

7. Headphones: If you’re riding the metro and want even a chance of hearing that latest indie song you’ve been waiting to get released, you’re going to need a good pair of headphones, and for many French women (and men!) that means grabbing a pair of Beats By Dre. Once again, these are quite the deposit piece, but quality over price? You decide.

8. Purse: Shoulder bags (dare I say it – leather?) and canvas totes are the most common purses that I see walking the streets of Paris. Whether it’s a cute screen print or just a basic tote, canvas book bags are very popular right now for the 20-something Parisian. As for handbags, they run across the scale, but are generally another piece that is invested in.

9. Sunglasses: Black, darling. Always black. Whether it’s a cat eye or a circle lens, black sunglasses are classic and may never go out of style. On Paris streets they’re almost exclusively worn, and it’s unlikely you’ll find other colors or designs nearly as much.

10. Hair: The French do, I’ll admit, have a better hold on hair than Americans. Why? Because they just let it be. Yes some dye it, or do other little tweaks, but as a whole hair here is loved as is, and I love that. The key to French hair is to take care of the hair you have. Whether that means moisturizing, having a great hair cut or shaving it down short the French own their gorgeous locks and that’s a love you can’t help but have rub off on you.

Have some Paris fashion trends you’ve noticed!? Add them in the message box below!

Solitude & Surrender

Published on March 10, 2015 by EmileeLeave a comment

I was Facebook messaging a friend this past week when the topic of the two of us having millennial long conversations, when I get back to Seattle, came up. See, this particular friend is quite special in that she and I have (more than once) spent most of the night talking about nothing, and after a year – there will be a lot more than a little something to talk about upon my arrival back in Seattle.

But, as we were messaging, I had a thought that I really hadn’t considered before: When was the last time I had talked to someone?
You know, like not a “hello” or talking about work, or being afraid you’re keeping someone up due to the time difference, or being told that one of the kids might be sick so watch out for vomit when you pick him up from school – but actually TALKED to someone.

You know, like sit down and talk about how you’re actually doing, opening up and fully “talking.”

I realized it had been a while.

Don’t get me wrong, I have awesome friends in France (and duh, we talk), but the reality is that I’ve spent more time alone over the past 7 months than I ever have before. I know, I know, all of you extroverts are yelling at the top of your cyber lungs that I need to go out and party more, MEET PEOPLE! And all of you introverts are thinking, “Wow, I could use some of that. Alone time sounds blissful.”

But I don’t think it’s as easy (or fair) to chalk this occupational hazard/perk to strictly being a “bad” or a “good” thing. There are both benefits and detriments to having so much time with myself. For one thing, me and myself know each other quite well, now (please read that in as sane a context as possible).

The reason being that when you have a lot of time to yourself, you have to face your good and your bad, your greatest accomplishments and your biggest fears. In those times of silence you have to find balance with yourself because there is no one else to help you. And you have to make real actual decisions, rather than burying holes to “deal with them later.” In short, you have to get to know yourself.

And let me tell you, it’s not always comfortable.

But facing your fears, anxieties and inhibitions never is – and, of course, it’s something we all must (or, at least, should do at one point or another. So whilst I’ve away in France, I figure, now is as good a time as any to get some of these insecurities out of the way.

Exhibit A:

I remember writing a post a while back about how I “couldn’t draw” (the reason being that I never felt that I could be good enough to even try, since my older brother is the superior artist in the family).

Well I’m facing that demon, and I’ve been forcing myself to draw every day for the past (almost) month. And you know what? I’ve discovered something that I never never never never thought I would: I really like drawing.

I’ve also discovered that being committed to doing something every day doesn’t mean you won’t feel so nervous you’re shaking, when you start a project, or that you won’t feel like throwing up when you show people the finished product – convinced they’ll spot every flaw your own eye is magnifying x1000.

But I’ve always liked to think that an artist isn’t someone who is somehow superior in the arts to the rest of humanity, but just someone who has learned to push past those specific demons and create despite their taunting inner voices.

Because, when it comes down to it, I think some of the biggest battles we face in the journey to creating ourselves, are the seemingly invisible and silent ones trapped within our own minds. And over these past months, I’ve begun to learn what it means to challenge the things that I‘ve had holding me back.

In the silence I’ve found strength.

These past 7 months have proved to be a time of more battles than I ever thought I could face. Now, looking back to the person who stepped on the plane to France, I feel like I was a hundred years younger; again, a good and bad thing.

But, if I had to assign one word to the past months, it wouldn’t be a negative one (compared to a couple months ago, since my life literally felt like it was going up in flames). But, instead, one that I’ve felt like God has been whispering over my life the past few weeks, specifically: Surrender.

Now don’t get this wrong – surrendering, in this case, does not mean giving up on a mission. It doesn’t mean stepping away from the cause, or breaking down.

If anything, it means the exact opposite.

It means realizing that I have something to fight for that is bigger than myself; and that I have people around me to help me along the way. It’s completely out of my nature (and SO hard) to admit that I ever need help. Help has always equated to weakness in my past.

But it has been such a journey the past months to see how weakness is not what has been shown through the actions of others, but how incredibly strong I am because of the people who have held me up in my times of need. And beyond that, a heavenly Father who hasn’t left me at any point along the way.

Life has not turned out as I expected. Things have not gone the way that I wanted them to, or that I planned them to. But that’s okay. And realizing that has been a journey of its own. But I know there’s a greater purpose for the fire that refines us.

And even though it’s not always the easiest or the most convenient, sometimes the thing we need to hear the most, in the silence, is the whisper of our Creator to take courage, and to keep moving forward.

Seeking A Friend For The End Of The World

Published on February 24, 2015February 24, 2015 by Emilee1 Comment

Tonight, when I first sat down to write a blog post, I thought I would be writing about the adventures I’m having right now while on holiday. I thought I would tell you guys all about the wonders of being in snow-covered mountains, or about how beautiful today was. But when I sat down at my computer, staring at the blank white document page, all I could think about was home.

You’ve all heard of homesickness before, and I know it’s not the first time I’ve written about it on my blog, but it wasn’t really on that level that I was thinking. Being in a ski resort there is beauty all around me: beautiful mountains, beautiful snow, beautiful shops and buildings. But what I find the most beautiful are the people. See, normally people come to resorts with their closest friends, family etc. so the relationships that you get to see around you are ones built on familiarity – something I can barely remember the taste of.

Today I was walking around some of the streets and I couldn’t help but think about the people I would bring here, were it up to me. Who would be among my crew of miscreants? Who would I be walking these streets with?

Moving away from your country can leave a pretty colossal hole in your heart. While I know there are some people who move and never want to return, that hasn’t been the case for me. In fact, I think it has been the exact opposite experience. Note: This does not mean I hate my life, I’m not having fun or that I want to run away.

Having lived these past six months in France has really taught me a lot about the people in my life, though. I’ve ranted and raved about my friends, before. But I think I’m starting to understand just how lucky I truly am. When I think back over the past six months I can say with certainty that, without these beautiful people, I wouldn’t have made it.

True and honest friendship is not something you encounter every day, although there are many impersonations of it. But, you see, friendship isn’t about the people who smile and ask you how your day was every time you see them. Anyone can ask you questions. It’s about the people who are actually listening when you answer – the people who aren’t looking over your shoulder for the next person to talk to. Friendship is about people caring because actually do, not because they feel like they’re under obligation to. And it took me most of my life to stop settling for the latter version.

But somehow, though the past few years, I seem to have won the lottery when it comes to friends. I have the absolute best support system a girl could ask for, but I’m okay admitting I took it for granted when I was living a phone call away from them.

And now, living a galaxy away, we can’t phone call. Now we have to strategically adjust and stretch our schedules just to talk for a precious hour between time zones. Now we have to sit down and take the time to write letters and then mail them. We have to work for our friendship, and the reality is that it isn’t always convenient.

Which is why I know how lucky I am.

When I first moved to France the biggest fear I had was of being forgotten. I know that sounds kind of weird, but it has been a really real fear throughout his whole process. Would people remember who I was? Would they see me again after a year and see a friend or a stranger? The reality is that either is possible. Some friendships are tested and don’t make it.

But some do.

And to those of you who have sacrificed time, effort, postage and kind words to help me through this wild adventure I’m on, I want to say a sincere “thank you.” I love you guys, and you will probably never know how much these “little” things mean to me.

This crazy thing called my current life would never have been able to be possible without you all! And throughout the shifting, stretching, crazy, awkward, ridiculously miraculous adventure, I finally understand how rich my life truly is. The beauty that is you people is just so much bigger than I ever could have imagined.

And while homesick is a feeling I’m more than a little familiar with, that’s not how I feel right now. I feel blessed. I feel overwhelmed by the people who have worked so hard to support and love me, even from 5000 miles away.

I’m the luckiest girl alive and I don’t think I ever fully realized it before.

Thank you all so much, and enormous hugs! We’re gonna do this thing together: Walk, run or crawl.

Thank you for being there to support me, all the way to the finish line.

Oceans

Published on February 12, 2015February 12, 2015 by EmileeLeave a comment

On the way back from school today, I was walking with my two youngest boys, and we came to a crosswalk. We stopped, looked both ways, and I stepped out first with them following. While they happily scampered across the street a car came speeding down the road, slamming on its brakes last minute when it saw me there, standing in the center of the crosswalk waiting for my kids to get across. I eyed the driver defiantly; because do or die, I was not moving until my kids were safe.

This isn’t the first, or the last, time that something like this has/will happened. As an au pair it’s my job to protect and take care of my kids and that’s what I do, even if it means risking my own safety in the effort. First and foremost it’s my job to make sure they come home safe and sound at the end of the day.

But, you know what? They don’t know that. In fact, I would go as far to say they don’t have a clue.
Sure they know I feed them, and pick them up from school, and that I take them to the park. But while they’re happily crossing streets, they have no idea there are cars narrowly missing them. And that’s okay. They’re kids and being oblivious to adult responsibilities is part of the package deal.

Today, though, I started thinking about how I cross my own streets in life, all the time, with God standing guard. I am the kid walking across with little to no idea of the protective measures going on around me.

The only difference is that my crosswalks are life choices – things that might seem scary or unknown, or downright insane. The other side of the road doesn’t always look like a nice and visible place to be. I get distracted by the fact that I can’t see what’s on the other side, or that I’m crossing alone and no one else seems to be walking in the same direction; I get nervous because I don’t have a plan after I cross, I don’t know who or what I will become when I reach that point – and that is terrifying. All I can think about is the other side of the street, but if only I would take the time to see the protecting guidance of my Father I would know better than to fear.

Lately I’ve had a lot of people ask me what it’s like to be an au pair. People have sent me messages saying they’ve thought about doing it, and they want to know if I think they should. I’ve been really careful replying to these messages, because I know giving “advice” on life altering decisions is very serious. And being an au pair IS a life altering decision. You will not come back the same.

And I don’t mean that solely in a, “you’ll have such a larger perspective of the world” way. Yes, you will gain amazing skills such as viewing people different from yourself, new friends and experiences and most likely have a more open mind. BUT you will also have battle scars and wounds from your time abroad. You will have situations that you wish you could have avoided, and problems you never thought you would overcome.

You’ll probably spend time crying – a LOT of time crying. You’ll wonder what the hell you’re doing there. You’ll feel like you’re wasting valuable time in your life, and that you could be doing something more significant. You’ll feel like you’re suffocating, like if you missed places and people any more your heart would implode.

That. That is what it means to be an au pair. And I don’t want to mislead anyone into thinking that you won’t feel like giving up on a regular basis. Because the reality is, it’s an extremely “unnatural” feeling to be living in a stranger’s house in a strange land with strange surroundings and nothing and no one familiar in immediate reach during your rough moments.
You don’t get to go home and vent after work – your home is your work. You don’t get sick days to stay home and marathon Netflix, you go to work every day, regardless of your state of health. Your schedule is not your own, you get woken up by screaming children and have to be quiet at night so you don’t wake them. Sometimes you’ll wonder if it’s worth it – or whether you should crank your music so loud the walls shake just so you’ll remember that you are there. And you are. Even though sometimes it feels like you’ve melted into an emotional pot the family has forgotten to stir – some kind of strange substance floating on the surface.

Let’s face it, sometimes a lot of the time you will want to give up. A lot of time I want to give up.

But I was raised to keep running a race until I reached the finish line. Whether I have to run, walk, limp or crawl there – I will cross it, and hold my head high.

Being an au pair is hard; it has stretched me in ways that I never knew I could be stretched. It has emboldened me in ways I never thought possible, and it has cut into my heart, replacing pieces I never wanted to admit were rotting. I’ve overcome things that I never would wish for anyone else to experience, stories I’ll never tell to anyone but those who are closest to me.

It has been painful and difficult and crazy and confusing.

But every now and then I’ll catch a glimmer. A faint light shining amidst the chaos that this life brings, and I’ll remember; the life I was called to, to run a good race, to push forward even when absolutely everything is pushing me back. I’ll remember that even the darkest rainstorms result in beautiful color pallets painting the skies.

And maybe that’s what this season is about. It’s a season of stretching. A season of building the muscles that will carry me across steeper roads, higher mountains and deeper canyons.

It’s not easy. Not one day since I’ve been here has been easy. But there have been times when I’ve smiled more genuinely than I think I ever have before. And I guess that is what truly marks a great adventure. Not that it’s a leisurely stroll. But that it’s a trek that leaves you scratched up, worn out and ready to drop at the end – but with an overwhelming sense of accomplishment.

We did it.

None of us leave this life unscathed or unaltered. The real question is whether the wounds we acquire have stories that are worth telling for generations.

Airport Journal: Galway, Ireland

Published on January 23, 2015February 9, 2015 by EmileeLeave a comment

No matter how early I plan to leave the house, somehow I always end up running for some mode of transportation. But today it wasn’t my fault. Really. I got up on time, I was at the door on time – but then I opened it. Huge white flakes were falling from the sky. They fell a little too fast, since it wasn’t quite cold enough to snow; only half of them surviving long enough to cover the ground in a thin sheet of almost white. Snow. I finally saw Paris in the snow.

It would have been a lot more exciting had I not realized that I wasn’t dresses for snow – but was venturing out in it, nonetheless. The reasons for my negligence mainly being because it wasn’t in the forecast, and then also just because who dresses for snow while traveling for a mini vacation to Ireland? Umbrella. I needed an umbrella. And as I fumbled my way through the house, I could not for the life of me, find one. WHERE WAS MY UMBRELLA?!

Ok, so maybe it was kind of my fault, because 8 minutes is a rather long time to look for an umbrella, when you’re supposed to be in a “rush.” But I finally found it!! And then it was a run/half skid effort down the hill to the train station. The scanner on the stop said 28 minutes until the next train, which meant I had just missed the train. But, wait. I was 3 minutes early! I prayed it was wrong because, if not, I was cutting it deadly close for catching a connecting metro and, ultimately, the bus to the airport. (A funny story about the airport I’m flying out of, I’ll tell you another time.)

I don’t think I’ve mentioned before how I’m getting to Galway, Ireland. Allow me to do so, now:

Walk ->Train -> Metro -> Bus -> Plane -> Bus -> Stay 24 Hours -> Bus -> Plane -> Bus -> Metro -> Train -> Walk

I know. I got a headache just typing that. But amazingly, with all that, it’s still cheaper than flying direct just to Dublin. Which is cool, because I’d rather go to a city I haven’t been to, before, and I like the idea of taking a bus ride across Ireland on a sunny (albeit cold) Saturday.

Also, the sea. I can not wait until I’m by the sea. Living in land-locked Paris has been slowly draining my soul. I need to be by the salt water air to feel whole. I need to hear waves, and see seagulls flying overhead. Also, I just really miss speaking English and eating fish and chips. Real talk.

So I’m on my way! I’m so excited, even though I’m only halfway through my journey there, right now. Here’s to weekend adventures!

10 Ways To Get Ready For A Weekend Backpacking Trip

Published on January 23, 2015 by Emilee1 Comment

Early tomorrow morning (We’re talking 4am, early) I’m going to be headed out on the second of, what I have a feeling will be, many weekend vacations while I’m living in Europe. As I was getting ready tonight, I thought I would share some thoughts on what I do when getting ready for one of these mini vacations. Packing definitely isn’t as extreme as going on a two week long backpacking trip, and the more I travel the more I get my own routine of knowing what I’ll actually need vs. what I just want for whatever reason. Here are my top 10 packing tips for when I’m getting ready to go on a weekend adventure!

Fully charge all electronic devises: If you don’t use your electronics a TON, you might even avoid having to pack cords at all, by doing this. I always bring my phone cord with me, of course, but I really try to only have that. My tablet has an 8 hour battery life, and my camera has more than that, so usually I’m good without 12 cords in my bag.

Print out all boarding passes/tickets IN ADVANCE: Save time and stress by printing boarding passes and any tickets – or really anything that you can print beforehand. This is especially great when you’re running late and have to jump straight on your plane/bus before it leaves. Not that I’ve ever had to do that *cough*.

Take a shower before you leave your house: Whether it’s the night before, or the morning of (depending on how early your flight is/how much sleep you want). I usually opt for the shower the night before, because I like to sleep in until the absolute last minute possible, and I fly out at ungodly hours because it’s cheaper. The basic rule is just to take a shower before you leave the house. You’ll feel better traveling clean, and you never know when the next shower will be.

Go to bed early: This is the hardest rule for me, but it’s so important. And also the reason I’m going to bed now, even though I’m usually a late night owl. It’s so important to get some sleep before you travel. It cuts down on stress, and helps you enjoy your trip, rather than feeling like you’re going to pass out. Believe me, I’ve tried the “pull an all nighter” before an early flight – it has NEVER been a good idea.

Pack snacks/water: I’m such a huge snacker. When it comes to being lost, delayed or just sitting in a strange country/city, having a familiar snack really does a world of good. Also chocolate – just always pack a chocolate bar. This was probably the best travel advice I ever received. My snack favorites? “Naked” blueberry juice, Pringles, apples.

Grab the “little things”: I also always check over the little things that make or break a trip for me. For instance: I’m super light/sound sensitive when I sleep, so I always travel with an eye mask (also good for plane sleeping) and earplugs (also good for plane sleeping) which both are really important for me getting a good night’s rest in a strange place.

Pack a book to read/journal: I love taking a book to finish when I’m traveling. I absolutely love reading while I travel, especially when I’m in airports etc. so I always try to find an interesting read beforehand. For this trip I’m hoping to finish “Journey To The Center Of The Earth.”

Lay out your travel plans: I like to set out all of my travel plans (making sure I have maps etc. for where to catch buses) all set out so I don’t have to wonder where I’m going when I’m tiredly trying to navigate in the morning.

Sticky note anything you might forget in the morning: Whether it’s something charging overnight, or something you want to grab in the fridge – write it down! When it comes down to it, you don’t need/want the extra stress of trying to remember things that you’re going to be really sad forgetting to pack, just because your brain was on overload in the rush of the minute.

Download music appropriate to the place: I do this just for fun. An example is that I downloaded the “Sound of the sea” soundtrack tonight in “preparation” for my Ireland trip!

The Breakup

Published on January 22, 2015January 21, 2015 by Emilee5 Comments

This week marks 5 months of me living in France, and I can hardly believe that it has gone by so quickly! I know that’s probably somewhat of a standard thing to say, but I really just cannot believe how much has happened in such a short amount of time. It simultaneously feels like 5 weeks and 5 years.

As a marker stone for this anniversary of my life in France, I thought I would think back to what I missed from life before living here. The answer: Everything. So then I thought it would be BETTER to think about the things that I didn’t really miss. That worked a lot better.

The biggest thing I don’t miss is my Netflix account. I know, shun me. But it’s the truth! I thought I would die without it, but honestly, I was using it most of the time to watch things I didn’t actually want to watch and to fill in the void of exhaustion that I would have after work. There wasn’t much “fruit” growing out of this part of my life. Oh, and Hulu got the boot too. The reason was mainly financial that I cut the cord on my Netflix relationship. It really wasn’t them, it was me. As an au pair I make next to nothing, after student loans etc., so I decided to cut all unnecessary costs. It was a really hard decision, to be honest, but in the end I knew it was worth it. You don’t really think about Nextflix/Hulu as costing money, but after a year it’s almost $250 I was spending. Crazy.

Obviously I realize this breakup isn’t for everyone. But I’ve noticed myself being so much more intellectual in the spare time that I now have. If I’m bored, and want to watch something, I go on PBS (free) and stream a documentary or Downton Abbey, or something that I actually want to watch (unlike Bronies). It turns out I don’t need 500 movie options to choose from every night, and the act of actually picking a movie is so much more enjoyable because I CHOOSE the movie. It’s not the suggestion of a suggestion of a suggestion of an algorithm of a choice I made three years ago. Not to say there aren’t good things to watch on Netflix, just that I don’t need access to all of them to stay happy.

My second breakup was with my smartphone. Although I do still use it for keeping in touch with awesome people from home (when I have wifi) I bought a little prepaid phone and (GUESS WHAT!?) it works just fine for making phone calls/texts. While I do like the idea of having information constantly graspable, I’ve realized that it’s kind of cool not to always be checking notifications, but instead be checking what my kids were doing at the park.

Instead of bringing my iPhone, I bring my sketchbook, or my knitting, or a book to read when I go out. I read on the metro, or just sit there silently (or as silently as one possibly can sit on the Paris Metro). It’s amazing how undervalued silence is. My brain goes absolutely wild. I come up with some of my best ideas while catching the mostly empty metro to church on Sunday mornings. I find myself sketching randomness when I’m waiting for my kids to finish piano lessons or PE and then realize: Wait. I DREW that! I finish books I’ve wanted to read for forever and I come up with designs and ideas on how to fix problems. If I have my iPhone out at all it’s because I’m using notepad to write down all of the ideas that are pouring out of my mind.

Next on the kick list, and this one kind of breaks my heart, is fashion. I’ve bought only basics and accessories, like scarves, since I’ve lived here (I think I might have bought a pair of shoes and a coat at some point) and that’s pretty much it. It was really hard at first, because I LOVE fashion and I love being able to keep up with trends, but something I’ve learned (which is oh so French) is that minimalism is okay. I have one pair of American made, sturdy leather boots and they work great for every day basically. Amazingly, I don’t need 25 sweaters and 200 pairs of shoes. Instead I mix up accessories and play with different makeup choices. It’s actually a lot more fun, and still keeps me on my toes in the fashion arena.

And lastly I’ve broken up with waste food. I would call it junk food, but I honestly feel like “waste” is a better word because of how much of a waste it is to my potential. A few months ago I joined this healthy eating/living group and it has been so great. We’re able to keep each other accountable and really push ourselves to work out, or to eat healthy meals. When I first arrived in this house there was so much junk food it was incredible, but after living here for only a few months I see a difference in the way me and my kids eat. Even the parents are climbing onboard!

The result of getting rid of these (and more) unnecessary things has allowed for a kind of renaissance in my creative life. AKA: my mind feels like it’s going to explode all the time. I have too many ideas, not enough time. I have so many projects I want to start, so many things I want to make and create. It’s like the past few years my mind has been storing ideas and suddenly the dam has been breached.

It’s both glorious and mildly terrifying, mainly because I don’t really sleep anymore. But at the same time, it’s incredibly liberating. And I can’t help but wonder: How much more would have been stuck in my mind had I not decided to take a step back from some unhealthily dependent relationships?

Amsterdam 2015

Published on January 21, 2015January 20, 2015 by EmileeLeave a comment

A couple of weekends ago (time flies!) I went to Amsterdam. It was cold and rainy and wet, but I managed to catch some sun breaks, hit up some museums and have an overall good time. Not my favorite city I’ve been to, but there was something magical about the architecture of it. I love the history, too! But that’s a given with any city that I travel to. On to the next weekend adventure!