Homesick For Somewhere

Glasgow, Scotland
Glasgow, Scotland

This week I’ve been thinking a lot about not being here. Some may call it wanderlust, some may call it daydreaming, but I just CANNOT shake the feeling of needing to go somewhere. Not necessarily France, not necessarily anywhere particularly, but just the need to go.

In a weird way, I feel like I’ve outgrown my life, and appropriately, for my Slytherin (nerd alert!) nature, I need to shed my skin. I’ve always been a daydreamer. I stare out windows dreaming about places probably more often than I ought to. But the truth of the matter is, I’m homesick. Not in a depression way (although, PTD – or Post Travel Depression, is a real thing) but just in a wistful wonderment kind of way. In a way that makes you get goosebumps when you feel like an adventure is on the horizon.

Where have I been homesick for? Well, right now, it’s Scotland. Or, to be more specific, Scottish sheep farms. I don’t know why, but taking trains and buses along the coast of Scotland brought me more joy than is probably normal. I remember traveling in a bus, passing by old stone ruins – sheep dotted across fields of every color green, and thinking, “You know what, if I won the Lottery today, I would buy a Scottish sheep farm, paint all day every day and never look back.” Because, honestly, that’s what I would do with millions of dollars. Buy a farm, change my identity, and run away to Scotland with my paintbrushes. Standard.

But, in the meantime, to combat the devilish voice in my head telling me to pack everything up and run away, there are some tricks of the trade that I thought I’d pass on for the chronic travel nostalgic like me.

1. Never Travel.

Just kidding. Duh, you should travel! But the way you travel can really make or break your post traveling experience. When I travel, I make sure it’s never to run away from things. Because, no matter how much you wish, you’re probably going to have to come back at some point. It’s in my nature to want to throw all of my belongings in a suitcase and run away the moment something bad happens in my life, but I really try hard to only travel if I have all of my ‘ducks in a row’ on the home front. That way, I’m not dreading coming back the entire time I’m away. And it also gives me the motivation to keep a happy home life, in order to be in a healthy mental and spiritual place to travel beyond it.

2. Send Yourself Post Cards: 

This is something I’ve done for a while. First off, if you’re backpacking, it’s a good way to get yourself a souvenir without having to lug something around in your pack. Second, you get proof that you actually went somewhere, instead of owning something someone could find in a thrift shop where you’re from. Last, I just love writing – and writing myself is weirdly fun. Snail mail isn’t given enough credit.There’s something magical and priceless about finding a note from a place you loved in your mailbox when you get back home.

3. Write About It:

Blog or journal about your experiences! I love finding just the right journal to keep with me while I’m traveling. I generally go for the ones without lines on the paper, so I can sketch, paint or tape in little extra bits I find around when I’m traveling. Blogging is also a fun way to keep a day by day account of where you’re traveling, if you have access to a computer.

4.  Tell Your Friends: 

Sharing your knowledge is one of the best things you can do for travel nostalgia. There’s something about sharing stories and inspiration with those around you that not only builds you up, but helps the rest of your friends to get on the train with traveling as well. Inspiration goes a long way. One of the only reasons I’ve had the guts to travel in the past is that some of my friends did it before me. Sitting down to coffee, and hearing one of your peers talk about their experiences, really makes you want to go out and make your own memories!

5. Start Planning Your Next Adventure:

No matter how often I travel, the minute I get back I start planning my next trip. Not necessarily in the way of  buying a plane ticket as soon as I touch ground, but I really love having maps, dream boards, Pinterest inspiration boards and thoughts stashed away for where I want to go next. Before I went to the UK I had  (still have) a giant map of Scotland, Ireland, England and Wales taped to the back of my bedroom door. I guess that could be partially blamed for my nostalgia every night before I go to bed, but I also like looking at it and remembering all of the great adventures I had.

Bon Voyage!

Me and my mom adventuring per usual
Me and my mom adventuring per usual

 

When You Wish Upon A Star

London, England
London, England

Today I’ve been reading a lot about taking chances and following your dreams. Both of which, I fully support. But, as I was sitting here trying to think of what my dreams are, and what they have been, I realized something. Dreams, or callings, or whatever you want to name them, are not as single sided as they sound. They change, evolve and sometimes pop up out of nowhere. Sometimes your heart can be dreaming about something for years before your head gets caught up with the program. Then, when an opportunity comes along, it’s like, “WHAM!”

Sometimes, dreams smack us in the face.

My current prognosis for my life is that I knew myself better as a 10 year old than I do now. Why? Because when I was 10 I didn’t care what other people thought of me. I tried new things because I wanted to, and pursued them because that’s what felt right. I climbed trees and pondered life, wrote poetry, made forts and conducted random science experiments, because that’s what I wanted to do with my time. I was completely free of the restrictions of having to think whether climbing a tree was beneficial to my 401K, or if blowing things up in the kitchen would yield higher profit margins.

But, as adults, how often do we get that option? In college you take classes because, if you don’t, you’re not going to graduate (not because you can’t live without Molecular Biology). In the career world you work places because they offer you medical benefits and vacation time. Rarely is it because it’s some place you’ve wanted to work your whole life (although, of course, there are exceptions). And when you have kids, you get up at 5am every morning to get them ready for school, not because you want to, but because it’s your responsibility to as a parent.

With all these responsibilities floating around, it can easily feel like there isn’t room for dreams. When do those fit in? Between 3-5am? On the first and third Wednesday of every month?

But here’s a challenge that I give myself. When I have a rare moment of silence, no kids running around screaming at the top of their lungs, or responsibilities piling up by the second. I sit there and I ask God to remind me of the dreams he has fulfilled.

What were the things that I thought I’d never be able to do, and then did anyway?

When I look back, it reminds me of all the times I stood, shaking my head, thinking, “That’s impossible.” All the times I tried crunching numbers that seemed impossible to come out even, but then did. Never, for one moment, have I lacked the guiding hand of my Father, and the comforting whisper to try. And always, without fail, when I start to walk forward, the pieces come together seamlessly.

My favorite part about following your dreams and ambitions is that it starts what I like to call, Dream Dominoes. People inspire people. Stories inspire stories. When we step out of our comfort zones we empower others to do the same.

It always blows my mind when I take a step into an unknown place I feel called to and, all of the sudden, others start telling me about how they’ve decided to pursue things in their own lives as a result. It makes you wonder, what if changing the world is as simple as taking a chance on the things your heart beats for?

We never know the impact our own lives can have, until we step away from the comfortable and start paving our own paths. To stay safe may feel comfortable, but that doesn’t guarantee that the comfortable is safe.

My challenge for you, today, is to grab a notebook and write down three things you dream about having happen in your future. But, FIRST, write down three things that have happened in your past. Dreams that you never thought could turn into realities, but then did. It doesn’t matter if they turned out like you thought they would, or went according to plan, just that they happened.

Here are mine:

P A S T:

  1. I travelled farther than anyone else in my family. When I went to India I had no idea how I would scrape together $2,500 for the trip but, in the end, I had the exact amount of money I needed in my bank account.
  2. I wanted to intern with Krochet Kids International more than anything in the world. For two years I hoped and prayed that I would get an opportunity to work for such an awesome organization, and then I got chosen as a summer intern. I couldn’t believe it! I had wanted it for so long that I almost cried when I found out I would be working there.
  3. I went to college. Financially it seemed improbable that I would get there, let alone graduate. But I did – with honors. And everyone who ever told me I couldn’t because of my age, race, social standing or gender had to sit there and watch me succeed.

F U T U R E:

  1. I want to work somewhere that allows me to combine what I’m passionate about with my talents. I want to help people. I want to inspire hope in women who have been lied to about their worth and their place in this world. I want to write and explore and wake up every morning knowing that what I’ll do that day will change lives.
  2. I want to write a book. I don’t know what about or how on earth this is going to happen, but I want to write a book and have it published, even if there’s only one copy and it’s sitting on my bookshelf.
  3. I want to adopt. Probably not for a long time, obviously, but adoption is something that’s really close to my heart. I don’t have specific plans… actually I think it’s kind of weird when people pick a favorite country, or custom order what kind of kid they want, but this is something that has been on my heart for a wh-ile.

 

And that’s me! What are your guys’ dreams?

The Letter Of Intent I’d Really Like To Send

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Happy Birthday to the Eiffel Tower, which was dedicated today in 1889!

[ For my Visa application I have to, first, write a letter of intent to the French government. Here is the letter I wish I could have written to them…but didn’t (duh.)]

To whom it may concern (AKA you – why else would you be reading this?),

I am writing to inquire whether or not you will let me into your country. I really want to work there, and I can’t unless you say so. I’d consider myself a pretty awesome person. I’m not trying to steal French jobs, smuggle drugs or run off with one of your men (although, I can’t promise there’s no possibility of that happening). I just really want to learn about French and be completely bilingual, instead of one of those people who says they are and then totally aren’t. Like they know how to say, “Where’s the bathroom?” in Spanish and then , all the sudden, they’ve become bilingual. I mean, come on, what!? Oh…Sorry. I’m rambling, aren’t I? Anyway…

Soooo what do I plan on doing while I’m there? Mainly painting, to tell you the truth. I’ll be working and taking classes, but I really hope, more than anything, that I’ll be able to just sit in a field every now and then and paint the countryside. I’ve heard there are sheep farms where I’m going to be living and, let me tell  you, I LOVE sheep. In addition, there are three adorable children that really need me to take care of them. They’re pretty much the cutest children on the planet and I can’t wait to get to meet them in person, but I need you to tell me I can…or I’ll have to settle for Skype, until I come up with a more realistic plan B than parachuting into your country while dressed in disguise.

As for sanity, I can’t really vouch for myself. I think it takes a certain amount of insanity to move away from everything that’s familiar and everything/everyone that you know and go live in another country for any amount of time. But I am passionate, and driven, and I eat my vegetables and I’m a straight A student. Well, I was…when I was a student. And I will be again! Because I’m totally going to take classes while I’m there and I probably won’t be able to understand half of the things I’m taught, but that’s ok because I’m stubborn and I’ll study harder than anyone else at that school until I’m top of the class – even if it kills me (a death which would be extremely unfortunate since it’s taking me this much effort to get there in the first place).

In conclusion, I really want to come live in your country, and right now it’s pretty much you and the Visa police that have to tell me OK before I can. I’m madly in love with France. I started crying from happiness the other day because I walked past two people speaking French. No joke. That actually happened. I don’t just want you to approve my visa, I NEED you to approve it. Otherwise, I may throw myself off a cliff. Just kidding, that would be dumb. But I might be eternally heart broken and that’s pretty much the same thing – except not…because I won’t be dead.

Anyway, see you in a few months! (Too soon?)

Please don’t deny my application based off of my presumptuous American lack of ability to properly gage my actual ability to make a joke. PLEASE!

Thank you for your time, consideration, and for helping a sista out,

Emilee

[Here’s the letter I actually wrote] Continue reading “The Letter Of Intent I’d Really Like To Send”

Exploring Your Own Backyard

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When I was in college, I forced myself to discover new parts of Seattle by intentionally “getting lost” in my hometown. I would hop on a bus – any bus,  and with barely any cash and no GPS, I would explore. I found some pretty awesome places, and tried some new things I would never have tried during my day to day routine; I made some new friends and got to know my hometown so much more than I ever had before.

Taking these trips, I think, was the first stepping-stone to exploring the world outside of where I lived. It allowed me to gain the confidence to try new experiences, and to be ok with being a little uncomfortable (or a lot). I started to realize that asking people for directions was ok, and that eating at restaurants I’d never been to before could turn out to be awesome. I started to look around me, instead of walking with tunnel vision to my next destination. I started noticing things.

It’s a pretty well known fact that Seattle runs in my veins. I’m madly in love with my city.  I grew up going to Mariners games, rooting for the Sonics and eating Dick’s hamburgers. Rain storms are like lullabies to me.  I am a Seattleite born and raised, but I still find adventures in my home city all the time. Because, contrary to popular opinion, being an adventurer doesn’t mean that you have to travel half way across the world in order to explore. More than likely there are stories, traditions and secret spots in your hometown that you’d never discover, unless you took the time to look for them.

And, you know what? A funny thing happens when you start to let the world show you it’s beauty. Yes, you start to see it differently, but you also begin to see yourself in a different light. You aren’t just a pedestrian anymore. You become a bird watcher, an architect, an art spectator, a food connoisseur, a friend to random strangers, a meteorologist, a cartographer, or a humanitarian. By opening yourself up to the beauty around you, you take part in a conversational exchange that allows you to enrich the world, while you, in turn, are enriched.

If you’re wondering where to start on your travel journey, get out and explore your own city!  Not only will you be building skills that allow you to interact once you’re on your international adventures, but you’ll also appreciate so much more of the world you travel in by learning to appreciate the virtue of what is already around you. So get out there! Find some awesome somethings in your hometown and then share your stories with someone. Let’s encourage a culture of exploration – even if it’s within our own communities!

Here are five of my favorite places I’ve stumbled across in Seattle:

1. Waterfall Garden (Pioneer Square): Did you know that Seattle has a waterfall IN the city? Neither did I, until I started asking around and discovered this one! Not only is this mini slice of nature beautiful, but this is a great way to take a break from the noise of the busy city for a bit and just relax.

2. ReStyle for Ryther Thrift Shop (Ballard): Missing those good old fashioned thrift shop experiences. This little baby shop may be just the thing you’ve been looking for. I love this little shop with all my heart and it really is as “hole-in-the-wall” as you can get.

3. The Backdoor at Roxy’s (Fremont): A little bit more well known amongst the locals, but still an unmarked door in a dark parking lot. This is one of my absolute favorite bars. The atmosphere is 1920’s speak-easy and, from the murals to the amazing food, it really is a great place to just sit back and relax with friends.

4. Magus Books (University District): I’m such a sucker for old books. I love the smell, I love the feel of the pages. It’s all part of the experience. This is such a great used book store and one that I love visiting

5. Street Bean Coffee (Downtown): Favorite coffee shop for their rice milk hot cocoa. So many coffee shops only offer soy alternatives to dairy, that it was extremely refreshing to be able to order my drinks with rice milk. This coffee shop is special because they offer jobs to homeless/transitioning street youth and also host some of the best Open Mic nights around.

Ciao!

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 “Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty never grows old.” – Franz Kafka

J’adore La Musique Française

What am I listening to, today? Well, French music (bien sûr) but here are some songs I just cannot stop listening to. Check them out and let me know what you think in the comments box below!

This is the saddest and most beautiful song ever. I love it so much. Even if you don’t speak French the emotion of the music tells the story.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=akekRP8SkEE

Don’t translate this song because the lyrics are prey-ty raunchy, but I love the classic rock feel of the song, and if you ignore the lyrics (like so many good songs) it’s awesome. This is a cover off the original song by Jacques Brel.

Honestly I enjoyed this music video more than I was probably supposed to. I love it so much, and the song itself is perfect to grove to. This one was actually suggested to me by one of my Au Pair kids! (The most tasteful 9 year old, ever.)

First off, this video is from one of my favorite movies growing up, “An American in Paris” (funny, since now I get to be the American in Paris) with Gene Kelly, who I was in love with. This is actually my favorite kind of music to just relax and listen to. It’s a perfect mix of traditional with a smooth collection of modern twists. In love.

LOVE.

 

Checklist Until Takeoff

Snoqualmie, WA
Snoqualmie, WA

This weeks list of things to get ready for France:

1. Credit card: I got my first credit card this week as part of a “life hack”.  I’ve never done this before, so we’ll see how it works out, but after meeting with the lovely people at Chase bank, I got set up with an account that allows you to get $500 toward air travel if you spend $2,000 within your first few months of having the card. As a nanny, I already know I’m going to have to pay a pretty hefty chunk of taxes in the next couple of weeks (since I don’t take them out per check during the year). So with that amount and all of my other bills put on the card I should be able to reach the $2000 pretty easily. And, I actually benefit from paying bills, since that will take a pretty big chunk off my plane ticket to France! Yay! The key, of course, it to pay the expenses off as soon as they are charged so there isn’t any kind of interest accruement. Here’s to trying new things!

2. Twitter: I used to be a Twitter junkie back in the day, but I stopped using it a couple years ago. I don’t actually remember why, but I’M BACK! I decided that one of the best ways I can brush up on my French is by changing all of my social media over slowly, and Twitter is the first to start. TweetMe @darkkhorsetweet or click the Follow button on the side panel of this blog ——>

3. French TV: Last night I discovered that there are full episodes of “The Voice” France on YouTube. This is one of my absolute favorite shows on TV, and I’m so excited to watch en français !

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HeT4fhmjaDA

4. Transcripts: There’s a lot of paperwork involved in becoming an Au Pair, so this week I’m going to be working on some of the pieces I can (a lot of it can’t be sent over until three months before I leave, so not until May). Yesterday I requested my transcripts from college to “prove” that I graduated for the French government. Looking over my transcripts was kind of fun. I’d forgot how much work I had put into my education until I was looking over all the classes and grades. Magna Cum Laude, woot!

5. Writing a letter of intent: Again, this is for my Visa application. I have to write a letter that states my intentions of why I want to come live in France. If anyone has written one of these before, I would love advice! I’m pretty good at filling paper with words, but I’ve heard the French government is pretty picky, so any friendly advice would be much appreciated!

6. Tattoo: I’m getting a tattoo this week and I’m so excited! Just a couple of lines on my arm, (no soaring eagles holding the American Flag – bummer, I know) but I’m excited none the less.

Je ferai face à ma peur. [I will face my fear.]

Il ne restera que moi. [Only I will remain.]

10 reasons I shouldn’t travel

10 reasons I shouldn't travel

Excuses are kind of like stuffed animals. They’re warm, fluffy and comforting. But sooner or later you should probably grow up and let them go.
A lot of the time, I find myself in situations where people will be telling me all the reasons they “can’t” travel, although they’d like to. And normally, it’s directed at me like I have some kind of immunity to those same problems. Well, I’m here to shout from the mountain tops that that’s simply not the case! And to prove it – here are, all the reasons I shouldn’t/can’t travel (but do anyway).

1. I’m too young to travel: I’m in my early twenties, and I’ve been traveling since I was 4 years old. At every point in my life, the experience of traveling has been so different! No matter what age you are, the time is now! Don’t wait for endless tomorrow’s.

2. Traveling alone is dangerous: I used to have a professor that said “Don’t be scared, be prepared.” I’m really a huge advocate of preparing for situations that cause you to be nervous. There are dangers to being any place (even your hometown) at any time. Make sure you know how to stay safe ( take a self defense class, carry mace, don’t wear headphones when you’re alone at night) and you’ll be fine.

3. I’m a woman: So. What. I’m sorry to be blunt, but if you’re going to let your gender decide what you’re capable of in life, you’re going to be missing out on a shitload of experiences. Woman or man, you are capable. Strap on some boots and get out there!

4. I have student loans: I do. And they suck. I am one of the masses of higher education drones who went to college and could have probably paid cash for a house instead. Conquering this really just comes down to budgeting. Figure out how much you need to pay each month in order to pay your loans off and still put away some money for traveling. Inch by inch, it’s possible to be responsible AND travel!

5. I have a job: Haha, not true. I have FOUR jobs. And I still make time to travel! It is hard to get time off, but usually if you ask off well in advance, you can get your higher ups to work with you to some extent. One of my jobs is actually to write about traveling and that’s an even better solution! Be creative! Where there’s a will (and a hard worker) there’s a way!

6. My family doesn’t approve: My mother has a panic attack every time I travel. She made me watch “Taken” before I went to India, explicitly telling me that was what would happen to me. She worries because that’s her job as a mom, but when I make up my mind and start working toward something, I know she’ll ultimately support me. Strike out on your own, and find people who will support your dreams and ambitions!

7. I don’t know people where I’m going: Friends are just strangers you’ve already met. Everywhere you go there are tons of new friends to be made! Use websites such as Couchsurfer.net to meet people before you even touch down in the place you’re going!

8. I’m not a millionaire: Be smart with your money and it will reward you. Couchsurf, buy plane tickets last minute or way in advance, grocery shop instead of eating out, travel outside the tourist season. There are so many little ways you can save money. And if you budget to save money beforehand, you’ll find out that traveling is so much more accessible than you ever thought!

9. I look terrible in travel clothes: Ha. Ok, but really. I hate the whole tourist/travel clothes look. I like skinny jeans, not khakis, and I’d rather be dead than caught in one of those canvas wide brim hats. The great thing is: YOU CAN WEAR WHATEVER THE HELL YOU WANT when you travel. I don’t wear traditional travel clothes when I travel. I like looking cute, and a quick trip to REI generally allows me to put together outfits that don’t scream, “I’M A TOURIST!” but still get the job done.

10. I have no organizational skills:
I truly believe everyone has an inner OCD diva in them, if they truly care about something. So, CARE. I hate putting together plans before hand, but facing the reality that it’s that, or sleeping in the streets, helps me focus on keeping paperwork organized and my trip running smoothly.

BONUS: I have no reason to travel: Shut up. Seriously. If you are a living, breathing, contributing human being to this planet (which you are) then you have a reason to travel. People who travel are able to interact with the world through a lens of understanding. They gain a better understanding of themselves and their own global impact, and they become a part of a global community that starts to care about issues beyond their front doors. So, get out there! The world awaits, and has some pretty awesome lessons to teach you about yourself!

The home of the great Sherlock Holmes 221B Baker Street London, England
The home of the great Sherlock Holmes
221B Baker Street London, England

Voyager Avec Ma Famille

Me, my mom and my brother adventuring
Me, my mom and my brother adventuring

Traveling has always been a family affair. My mom was a huge advocate of getting out and seeing the world beyond our front door, and made sure that we all experienced as much as possible while growing up.We were the extreme road trip family (my mom didn’t like flying), and as a result, I feel almost more at home sleeping in a moving car than I do in my bed at night.Whether we were camping, driving, staying in cabins or almost hitting a moose, my childhood included exploring all kinds of different parts of the country, and I have so many good memories of the places I’ve been.

I’ve always loved to travel, but I know that it’s mostly because of how my mom raised us. Because we learned to love new places at an early age, it’s so much easier to go and explore them now as an adult. I honestly view the world as my extended family, and, as such, I thought it would be fun to share some old school pictures of me and my friends/fam adventuring around. Enjoy!

Me and my older brother celebrating my birthday in Alaska
Me and my older brother celebrating my 13th birthday in Alaska
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I was extremely excited for this adventure
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Road trip down to LA!
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Exploring the Washington peninsula with my little brother and sister
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Me and my little sister at a beautiful lake on the Washington Peninsula
Mountain life in high school
Mountain life in high school

Five Ways Traveling Has Changed Me

My favorite thing about traveling is how much it challenges me to grow as a person. It’s nearly impossible for me to leave a place and not be changed by it in some way – a characteristic, which convinces me that, in order to fully discover myself, I need to continue to travel and see the world. There are several ways that I’ve already seen my outlook on the world change from traveling! Here are my top 5!

 1.     THE FOOD I EAT

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One of the first things people discover about me is that I have a dictionary/list of allergies. Most of them have to do with food, so growing up I never experimented with different kinds of food (in case I accidently killed myself). It was such a huge surprise to me when I traveled to India and found out I can eat 98% of the food there! Before then, I figured if it wasn’t “All American” AKA steak and potatoes, I probably couldn’t eat it.  Now Indian food is my absolute favorite, and I’m so much more open to trying new types of food (Haggis, anyone!?), no matter how weird they sound!

2.     HOW I DRESS 

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When I bought my first tartan skirt in Scotland, it was a proud moment in my life. I love traditional anything, and being of Scottish decent, I love connecting with my roots. A little Tartan power isn’t something I usually rock, but now that I’ve worn it, I love it so much.

In India I also picked up another FAVORITE trend: henna. I’d seen it before, being from the hippie town of Seattle, but there was something so much more appealing about getting henna done in the country where it was born. Henna is one of my favorite adornments and something I “put on” every chance I get.

3.     HOW I VIEW HOLIDAYS

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When I was traveling through the UK, Veterans Day occurred. As an American, there are certain rituals I’m used to in recognition of the holiday, but being in the UK really made, what is a mediocre holiday here, into something so much more impactful for me.

4.     HOW I VIEW MYSELF AS AN ARTIST 

 November 11th 2013 (Journaling on a train from Glasgow to London)

 “Today I saw 3 Van Gogh paintings, which was absolutely breathtaking. How can paint and canvas cause you to feel so many emotions and experience so many stories? I guess it’s true that a picture is, “worth a thousand words.” I think yesterday was the first time I ever felt like, seeing something done, my heart said, “ That’s what I want to do!” I want people to experience the narrative of their own lives through the paintings I create. I want to write a story about social justice, war and conflict without ever having to type a word…. Photography is great, but there’s something uniquely beautiful about paint and canvas speaking of the greater issues of our world.”

5.     HOW I INTERACT WITH PEOPLE WHO HAVE ENGLISH AS A SECOND LANGUAGE

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There’s something eye opening, heart breaking and completely revitalizing about being in a place where you can’t understand a word anyone is saying. It’s confusing and frustrating and you have to realize, perhaps for the first time, that you (AMERICA) are not the center of the universe.

Being vulnerable and uncomfortable is so incredibly humbling, and so entirely necessary to gaining compassion for those around you in your every day life.

Before I left for India I felt like God really kept pushing the verse 2 Samuel 6:22. In it, David, being ridiculed for obediently praising God, says, “Yes, and I am willing to look even more foolish than this, even to be humiliated in my own eyes!”

Be a little uncomfortable. It’s amazing how empowering the experience will make you, and those you encounter in similar situations, from there out.

Pratique, la patience et la ténacité

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Yesterday I was frustrated. I was trying to talk but had forgotten how to. The words were on the tip of my tongue, but I just could not remember them.

Knowing a language, and then forgetting it, is (I would imagine) a bit like knowing how to walk and then losing the ability to do so.

It’s a painful process, throwing yourself back into the grasps of the unknown known. Your mind has to catch up with your memories. And it can be an extremely frustrating process.

Yesterday I had to remind myself that I’m a student learning (or, rather, relearning) an entire language and that takes time. But as a perfectionist, it’s really hard to sit at a table with my tutor and start to relearn things I knew in elementary school. I want to excel, to run ahead and know everything instantly. I guess it’s a little piece of the brat in me – wanting to get things done WHEN I WANT THEM.

But, I think this is giving me more of an appreciation for the process of learning anything. And, in addition, a sense of awe for anyone who comes out of a situation where they have to relearn basic principals again. Relearning to walk, relearning to talk, relearning to know people, things or places. Stubbornness isn’t even a word that begins to describe what you have to be equipped with.

A reminder came this week, though, while I was reading with the six year old I nanny. He was struggling through the words, sounding out each one painfully and struggling as though he was pulling a heavy weight behind him. He wanted to read about his favorite soccer player Clint Dempsey, so he had insisted that the pages he read for the day were from the internet (instead of usual school level reading books) .

As he went along, he started to realize the task that had been put before him. It took 20 minutes to get through a paragraph. And that was with a lot of assistance, and breaking down words syllable by syllable.

He could have given up. He could have walked away from the table and decided to have books read to him for the rest of his life. But, instead, he pressed on. Grasping for an understanding of each character on the page. Wading through the sentences as though they were a bog trying to suck him down into its muddy ground. But he is a fighter, and he fought his way through each and every sentence. I think I learned a lesson from this sandy haired little six year old.

I learned that it takes practice, it takes determination and patience – but most of all it takes tenacity to continue on through something that seems impossible.

The ability to see things as a promising future, that currently looks like a horrible mess, is not a skill that can be taught, but rather, a piece of each of us that has to be discovered. Each time I go to practice French it breaks my heart to admit that I’m not as proficient as I once was. I have to swallow my pride and ask for help on words and meanings that I used to have mastered.

But every time I sit there struggling, I remember the tenacity of my little six year old, and press on. Because, at the end of the day, it’s not about how much struggle there was to make it to the finish line. Only that you made it there.

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