The Essence Of Home

 
Is it possible to travel too much? Some might say a resounding no. But today I found myself shooting this question around in my mind.

You see, I’ve been gone from the US for almost 9 months, now. And as odd as it sounds, the best way to describe my longing for home is that I’m just so tired.
Something to recognize here is that being tired doesn’t necessarily mean anything is wrong. Sometimes being tired just means you’ve toiled so hard at something that all you want to do is find a place to rest.

I think the biggest thing I took for granted when I was in Seattle was the ability to have a launch point, or to have a place I could call “home.” What I wouldn’t give to be without the homeless feeling that sometimes just settles into the pit of my stomach. Paris is not my home. These places I travel to, while temporarily lodging me, are not my home. Even Seattle, which I love so incredibly much, is not my home anymore. I am, in essence, a homeless wanderer. Lots of temporary places, but no place where I feel at peace.

Then I come to Ireland. And call me crazy, but somehow an entire country feels more like home to me than the bricks and stones that make up my house of residence. I am, and always will be a firm believer that every person has that place/city/country where the just feel a deeper connection than anywhere else, and that’s how I feel when I’m in Ireland. Which is probably why I just keep coming back.

This week has been Spring Break for me so I had made plans to go from Germany to Dublin to Copenhagen to Oslo all in 2 weeks. I made it to Germany and had a great time, then came over to Dublin…and accidentally fell in love with the city. So much so that I threw out my plane ticket and stayed.

And while I wouldn’t necessarily suggest doing this, for obvious financial reasons, it was something I thought a lot about before coming to the conclusion that it was necessary. See, 5+ years ago I was flying back from India and landed in Heathrow airport. Since some of my group decided to stay there before returning to the US, I had a bit of a split second decision of whether or not I would stay there too. My heart was pulling me toward the city, but it was the first time I had traveled internationally and I was terrified. So I got on the plane back to the US…and I’ve regretted that decision ever since.

Sometimes we have to take risks. Sometimes we have to ignore the “rules” and follow our gut feelings of what the next step in our journey is. It’s not always the safe route, and the outcome is often unknown, but as we strike out on these paths, pioneering them as we go, we learn that following the plans that others have written doesn’t always result in our own happiness.

A man in my hostel yesterday, who hardly spoke English, perhaps explained it the best when he said, “Can I tell you a secret? You’ll never see ‘enough’ [of the world].”

Travel is beautiful and wild and untamed. It draws us out of our comfort zones and refines our deepest selves, BUT it is not the answer to happiness. And that’s something I’m starting to understand.  We can visit every beautiful location, we can check off every major city, but when it comes down to it, it’s the people who we love and who love us that create the essence and fulfillment of belonging.

Because home isn’t the place where we grew up, or live now. It’s not a building or an address or a city. It’s where we feel loved, where we feel accepted and where we feel whole. Home is our place to be unapologetically ourselves. It’s where we find rest. And while you can see all the monuments and glories the world has to offer, finding that place starts with acknowledging that it might be right where you’re already standing.

Freiburg, Germany


I have been absolutely terrible about keeping up on blogging while I’m on Spring Break, but let’s consider that a good thing, in this case, because I’ve been having such an amazing time.  I spent last weekend in Freiburg, Germany (pronounced Fry-burg) and it was so lovely. I was visiting a friend who I hadn’t seen in three years, and it just happened that we both moved from our Seattle lives to Europe. So crazy. Here are some pics from my adventures!

                  


     

Review: Tough Burger

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Want a great place to feel like a hipster, eat great hamburgers and possibly get a tattoo afterwards? Well I’ve got just the place for you!
Tough Burger was actually a suggestion from my aupair host mom, because she noticed the hipster vibe of the places I generally like to go. She thought I would like it – and she was right!

Luckily, this swanky little joint isn’t only about good looks – the food was phenomenal as well. I ordered the fish burger and french fries and it was sublime. Again, perhaps a little pricey at 15 euro for burger, fries and drink. But that’s Paris. And also why we only go out once a week. Ha.

One of my favorite features of this bar was the stash of American candy they had. You heard me. Real American candy – in PARIS!! I was a little bit excited. There are, of course, specialty places that carry American food at the cost of an arm and a leg, but I was just so surprised to be able to buy a dark chocolate Milky Way at a burger joint. Beware though, the prices are (of course) inflated due to the candy not being French.

Overall the food was amazing, the waiters were some of the most suave I’ve ever seen, and the atmosphere was swanky, fun and perfect. A warning about this place: YOU HAVE TO RESERVE VIA TEXT MESSAGE in order to get in. You’ve been warned.

Ordered: Fish Burger, Fries, Coke

Where: 40 rue de Meudon
92100 – Boulogne-Billancourt

Went: Saturday, April 4th, 2015 around 1pm

Wifi: Unknown – I did see that they had a connection, but I’m not sure it was accessible to the public

Reservation Needed: Yes. SMS 06 21 63 44 17

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Top 5 questions I get asked about Paris:

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Living in such a tourist favorite city as Paris, I get a lot of friends who are visiting here and want to know what my perspective on the city is. For the sake of time management, and so I can help out as many people as possible with my faux Parisian opinions, I thought I would put together a post with the answers to some of the questions I get asked most frequently. Ready!? Let’s go!

1. Where should I stay?

There are tons of options for where to stay during your time in Paris! My personal favorites would probably be to either find a hostel to stay in or to find a place on Airbnb because Couchsurfing requests don’t work as often in such a huge city. The hostel that I stayed in the first time I came to Paris (which I would definitely recommend) is the BVJ Champs-Elysées Monceau which is an affordable option for a city where money melts out of your pockets, if you’re not paying attention. This hostel had so many lovely memories for me. It was here that my friend and me met a couple of awesome backpackers who walked the streets of Paris with us, late at night. We had drinks at a café and talked about how different life was in each of our different countries (Brazil, Spain, USA and Romania). It was the quintessential Parisian moment and one of my favorite memories. The hostel itself is also just lovely and looks like a museum from the outside.

2. What should I see?

I think Paris does a great job with their most famous attractions, but if you want some personal suggestions I would say make sure you visit Montmartre and Sacre Coeur church. That’s my favorite area in Paris because it’s where all of the artist stores are. This is also where you can find the “famous” square where you can buy original paintings from Parisian artists! One time I got my silhouette cut out from one a man there and I absolutely love it. 🙂
Another favorite spot is the Gardens at Luxembourg, especially if it’s sunny outside. These gardens are absolutely beautiful and such a great place to sit, have a picnic, walk or sketch. But fair warning, if it’s a sunny and nice day this is a very WELL KNOWN spot for Parisians so you most certainly will not be alone.
My best suggestion is to look up things you love, such as the movie Mulan Rouge, Ernest Hemingway, Victor Hugo, or Midnight in Paris and then go from there. There are just so many amazing settings  for stories that you can visit in real life. It’s amazing!

3. Should I stay away from anywhere in Paris?

I get a lot of questions asking what the “bad” parts of Paris are. The answer, of course, is not quite so simple. There are of course “bad” metro lines ( *cough* 13) that are a bit on the sketch line, but I would say to be aware no matter where you’re traveling in Paris.  1) Keep your valuables in zipped or buttoned pockets so people can’t slip their hands in and pick pocket you. 2) If you’re in a crowded space, and have a bag or purse, hold it over your shoulder and in front of you so it’s not hanging behind being gone through without your knowledge. 3) NEVER leave your bags unaccompanied 4) Don’t walk alone late at night down dark alley ways 5) If you feel like you’re in an area that’s less than serene keep your headphones out of your ears and keep aware of the people around you. The rules are pretty much the same for any big city – don’t be scared, be prepared.

4. How do I get around?

There are actually a few ways to get around, although the main ones that we use are the RER and the metro (sometimes other trains, but not as much for Paris proper). Paris actually has a pretty understandable system when it comes to metros and each line is color coded and numbered. If you ever need help when riding the metro feel free to ask the info places at the entrances to the stops (before you put your ticket in). They’re extremely helpful and have even been known to print directions for lost travelers or first time visitors to the city.

5. Do you have any favorite spots I should know about?

Honestly, my favorite thing to do in Paris is to just walk up and down the Seine river. It’s the closest thing we have to an ocean, and I miss Puget Sound so very much. I also love that it will take you along many of the major attractions. The gardens of Paris are also just simply magnificent. If there’s one thing the French excel at it’s making things beautiful and elaborate, and their gardens are no exception – if you have the opportunity to step into one with a book to read – do it. The atmosphere is lovely and oh so French.

Rome, Italy: Day 2

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Day two of Italy was such a beautiful whirlwind. I started out with breakfast (REAL DOUGHNUT) at the hostel and then headed out to find the metro. I was so happy to figure out that in Rome the metro consists of two lines, and each goes in two directions. That’s really all there is. Hallelujah. There was a direct route from where I was staying, so I hopped on the metro and headed to my first location: The Vatican.

While I was riding the metro I was reminded of how terrified I was of the tube when I made my first ever backpacking trip. I wouldn’t take it. I took buses around London for an entire week. And if you’ve ever been to London, you’ll know how incredibly insane that is. But here I was, sitting on the metro in Rome, Italy thinking, “Well this is easy.” Paris has changed me in a lot of ways. I had to smile when I thought about how “young” I seemed on my first trip, even though it was only a couple years ago. So much can change in two years.

The Vatican was as crazy as you can imagine. Going on Easter weekend was an absolute dream in most regards, to be honest. There were so many more benefits than negatives. But when it came to The Vatican, there was the single negative; it seemed like the entirety of Italy (and maybe everywhere else, too) was there. The line was wrapping around the entire piazza and everyone was buzzing with excitement. It was a pretty amazing experience. EVERYONE was there – from the elderly to tours filled with children. I didn’t wait in the line, because I knew that I had limited time to see the whole city, but I did take some awesome pictures of the surrounding area. So fresh, so clean. I love Roman architecture.

My next stop was the Castel Sant Angelo, which was amazing and absolutely enormous. I kind of wish I had gone in, but there was just so much to see and I was on a time crunch. I loved walking along the “Fiume Tevere”. The water seemed so clear in comparison to The Seine and since the sun was out and shining all day it was the best place to be.

Like I said, I really think I went at the best time that I could have. I had all the street vendors to myself and picked up some amazing “Roman Holiday” (Audrey Hepburn) prints, which I’m definitely going to get framed when I get back to the US. The Piazza Cavour was one of the most beautiful sights you could ever imagine. I’m so used to the (sorry France) gaudy Parisian architecture that it was refreshing to see the clean, but nonetheless ornate and beautiful, architecture of Rome.

My next stop was the Piazza Navona, where I bought some gelato and simply laid in the sun next to a fountain as a jazz band played next to where I was sitting. Sounds perfect, right? It was.
I stopped in on quite a few churches while I was in Rome. I loved how simplistic they looked on the exterior, but how ornate they were on the inside. I spent a lot of time just sitting and mediating in one of the smaller chapels next to the Piazza. Such beauty.
At this point I decided that I needed to see at least one actual museum so I jumped in the one that was nearest to me. Of course (because I can never escape France) it was the Napoleon museum, which was actually amazing and beautiful and I loved it. When I walked in, though, I walked straight up to the huge Napoleon painting and said “Well, I didn’t expect to see you here.” I’m pretty sure the security guards thought I was insane. Oh, well.

My next stop was the Pantheon, which was an absolute madhouse (in all the best ways). There were just SO MANY PEOPLE THERE. I loved being able to walk around amidst the beehive of people inside, though. The ceiling was one of those moments that seems like a cut from a movie montage. You just stand there and turn around and around. How did people build this so long ago? How is it still here? Why do I get to come here?

After the Pantheon I picked up some postcards and walked up along the Tiber River. I headed up to Piazza del Popolo where there was the coolest obelisk. That was another favorite thing about Rome, since I’ve always been in love with ancient Egypt (I dressed up as Cleopatra probably 5 Halloweens in my childhood). I loved being able to see these massive obelisks engraved with hieroglyphics. I mean, come on. At this point I was just thinking – what even is this life that I’m living?

NOTE: This whole trip I had to keep pinching myself. How was it real that I was there? How was I there? How was it real?

After the Piazza I made my way along the Via del Corso, which is pretty much just a huge extension of shop after shop after shop. I did buy a wallet, because I figured that going to Italy and not buying something made out of Italian leather would have been a crime.
Another thing I really enjoyed about Rome was that, even though it’s such a massive city, there are still live street musicians and artists. There were some absolutely incredible chalk artists on the streets there, and I could not believe how well they were replicating famous works of art.

The next stop on my adventure were the Spanish stairs – and I really don’t have much to say about them because my little introvert self saw that many people sitting in that one place, and ran for the hills.

Or rather, Trevi Fountain, which was under construction (the saddest thing ever) but was still lovely. Hopefully someday, when I go back, I’ll be able to see it with actual water in it. Wouldn’t that be nice?

The Quirinale was my next stop, and I arrived just in time to see the Italian version of the changing of the guards. The whole ceremony was pretty awesome, but I don’t think it’s publicized because there weren’t a whole ton of people there. Those of us who were there, though, loved every moment.

Phew. I’m getting tired just writing all of this out (and you’re probably getting tired of reading it) but just image that this was 12 hours straight of walking. Fun times.

On my way back to my hostel I found an old church (like all the churches in Rome are old, so I don’t know why I needed to add that), and wrote out the postcards I needed to send out – all while being surrounded by gold and renaissance style paintings. Think angels with outstretched fingers. That.

Piazza Republica was my next stop on my way back to my hostel, where I dropped off my postcards, and went back to the hostel to collapse. Unfortunately, it was then that I realized I had forgotten to get Spaghetti (I had checked off Panini and gelato already during the day) somewhere, so I dragged myself back out of bed and across the street for a plate. I will say this about that meal: I don’t think I’ll ever be able to enjoy bread anywhere, ever again, now that I’ve lived in France.

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Rome, Italy : Day 1

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(Written last week, but I didn’t have time to edit it – oops!)

Day one of Rome started with me flying into the airport, missing buses because of the enormous demand (due to Easter) and then ultimately getting into the city! When we drove in, the bus went past some of the southern monuments, including the Colosseum. My first thought, honestly, when arriving there was “Whoa. That looks just like the Colosseum.” Sleep deprivation does things to you, and I don’t think my mind had quite figured out I wasn’t in France anymore.

Obviously, I figured it out a split second later, and whipped out my phone to snap some pictures as we sped by. The bus took me pretty close to my hostel, which was so nice! The name of the hostel where I was staying was called The Freedom Traveler Hostel and I really really enjoyed my time there. The staff was just so extremely helpful and so incredibly nice. When I checked in, the staff woman pulled out a map that showed Rome and circled all the “must see” places. Basically it was every highlighted attraction. Which meant I needed to get started right away, despite being barely able to walk straight due to my 4am wake up time.

So I dropped my stuff off and headed straight back out the door. The thing to remember about Rome is that there are only two subway lines and neither goes near anything you’ll want to see, with the exception of The Vatican. The reason, as you can probably guess, is because it would endanger so many of the ruins and monuments to have tunnels running underground near them. But it does make transportation (other than by bus) a little more tricky. The good thing is, a lot of things are clustered together, and there are beautiful structures to see that aren’t even on the maps for your walk to in between places.

Day one I decided to head back down south of where I was staying, BACK to the Colosseum. The great thing about traveling on Easter weekend was a lot of monuments were FREE! The bad thing was that there seemed to be the whole of Europe there to visit.

When I walked up to the Colosseum the line was impressively long stretching out farther than I could really see. It was at this moment that for some weird reason the movie Big Hero 6 came to mind, and I started looking at the insanity in a different way. I started walking around the building and found another line to the side that apparently no one knew existed except for the 10 people in front of me – so I got into the building in about 15 minutes (in comparison to waiting hours). Getting in so quickly, and not having to pay made the experience all that much better and I got to savor the guided tours that I joined up inside. I honestly spent so much time in there just in awe and wonder at the magnitude and history that made up the Colosseum. Absolutely crazy.

After the Colosseum it was pretty late for museums, due to the fact that I didn’t get into the city until almost 3pm and they closed at 6pm. So I walked across the street to the Roman Forum where there are just ruins for as far as the eye can see. I also discovered, while walking around, that Italy has doughnuts – which was one of the best moment I’ve had in months. I don’t even know why, but I’ve been craving doughnuts for months and to finally get a real fried doughnut (France has them, but they’re baked – gross) was just heaven.

Even though it rained the first day, the overall mood of the city was on fire. Everyone was having such a good time and you could tell. That’s something I really miss from Paris. As weird as it sounds, happy people are not in an abundance there and it starts to rub off on you after a while.

Italians are loud and expressive and sarcastic and fun. Italian couples, not matter what age, were my favorite to people to watch because they are hilarious – so much teasing but in a I’m going-to-play slap-you-and-then-kiss-you romantic way. It actually really reminded me of Ireland and the Irish sense of humor. Which is saying a lot, because Ireland is my absolute favorite place ever.

After all the walking I went back to my hostel and got to chat with my hostel roommates – Pat and Kat. Which is just awesome that those were their names. One was a student from The Philippines, who was studying in Denmark and the other was a single mom from Hawaii who just decided to go to Rome on a whim. They both were just so incredible.

That really is so much of the experience of travel. Yes the sights and the ruins are amazing. I love museums and paintings and castles and churches. But what really makes a trip a good one is the people you meet. I absolutely love bing able to hang out with other travelers and swap stories and ideas – they really are my favorite kind of people.

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Easter Sunday: Rome, Italy

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They say that to truly feel alive you should do things that scare you. Today is my day.
I’ve been pretty terrified to go to Rome for a while. Big cities in general terrify me, but with other cities like LA, London or Paris I’ve always felt a little more at ease since I speak the language of each of those places.
I don’t speak a word of Italian. In fact, I can barely spell Italian (I keep writing it the French way). When I was in the airport I actually had to stop and mind swap over because the people boarding with me were (of course) speaking Italian and I seriously had to stop and think about what Italian sounded like. When was the last time I heard actual (not 9th generation Italian-American, sorry guys) Italian? I honestly can’t think of a time. Which kind of makes me sad, because I really like Italian as a language. It just really isn’t that prominent in the past of the US where I’m from, but I never realized that until today.

This morning I woke up at 5am with birds chirping and a full moon outside my window. It was eerie, but also kind of nice to get to watch the Easter sunrise. HE IS RISEN!
I love Easter so much because it’s just a huge party – it is hard not to be with my family this year because this is one of the three times per year that I usually get to see everyone. What I wouldn’t give for a plate of Morehouse deviled eggs. Yum.

But this is the year of doing things a little different. So I’m currently sitting on an airplane to Rome, Italy. Which is insane. The trip was pretty sporadic because I just found out earlier this week that I had a three day weekend off. While I was looking up places to go I knew Italy was next on my list of places to visit, but I was torn between Venice, Florence or Rome (or Milan just because it’s close and cheap) but after thinking it over, and looking up each city, I realized I would never forgive myself if I didn’t go to Rome.

So I bought the hefty ticket (everything was overpriced for the holiday weekend, but in comparison to traveling from the US obviously it’s like nothing no matter how high you buy flying from Paris) and I immediately knew it was the right choice. The hostel situation in Rome this weekend is madness. It took me two hours of sifting through every possible place before I finally found a hostel that fit what I was looking for. It was the last bed in the place, and I can only imagine what the city itself is going to be like when I actually get there. It’s funny, but I already feel like I want to go back to Italy and I’m not even there, yet.

About the airline I’m flying: This time I decided to try out the Spanish owned airline Vueling. I honestly had no idea what to expect since the airline is fairly new and there wasn’t a lot about them online, yet. But I love it (especially in comparison to RyanAir). The staff is so nice, and they actually seem to like their jobs. The atmosphere of the plane is great, hipster approved music is playing and everyone seems to be having a great time. The one warning I would state is that, if you’re on the taller side, make sure you have an aisle seat – the leg room is the only not so impressive aspect of this airline. If you’re smaller, though, you’re good to go. The nice thing to remember, also, is that the flights are only around 1-2 hours long. So if you do end up feeling cramped, it will only be for a short while. I lucked out this trip, though, because both of the seats next to me are open, so I’m the queen of row 29 A-C (also window seat – eeeeee! 🙂 )

The one downside of this trip is that Paris is gorgeously sunny today, and Rome has supposedly inherited the rain we’ve had all this week for today. But it is supposed to be sunny tomorrow, so I think it will still be a great trip! Ciao!

‘Livin On A Prayer

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Before I left for France my aunt told me “Come back happy, or don’t come back at all.” To be honest, I wasn’t really sure what that meant. But whether or not she wanted it to stick with me, it has for the past 7 months of me living in France.

Thinking back over the past months, there are so many reasons I could have left. So many experiences that would have validated buying the next plane ticket to the U.S. and not looking back.
But to grasp at those opportunities would have been to do so out of fear.

And whether or not she meant this, I think I understand:

Come back stronger than when you left.

Come back wiser. Come back with stories to fill volumes in the family history books. Come back renewed. Come back knowing yourself better. Whether it’s in one week, or one year, come back because it’s time for you to come back, not because someone or something tells you to come back (or to stay there). Come back satisfied. Come back more fully you. Come back happy, or don’t come back at all.

It’s kind of incredible to think about the transformation that can happen to a person over a period of a year. I’m just approaching 8 months and I’m still in awe of how different I feel, compared with when I moved here.

The biggest change, I think, is that I feel like I know my own mind so much better, than I did before. Whereas I used to be constantly worried about the backlash of actually making a decision, I think I’ve reached the point where I know – but more importantly trust myself.

Although I’m a pretty stubborn person, truth be told I hate conflict more than anything. I want things to be relaxed, smoothed over and easy for everyone involved. But the reality is that if you’re always trying to make other people happy, you end up getting trampled underfoot.

There’s a quote I heard once (although I can’t remember who said it – shame on me) that said something along the lines of “If you’re not writing your own story, someone else will write it for you.”

And while this might seem kind of morbid, I think of it as a reminder that we know ourselves better than anyone else in the world. It’s having the strength to assert that knowledge, which is where life gets a little tricky.

This year I’ve noticed that, in the abundance of spare time I’ve been given, I’ve really reverted to a lot of things I had forgotten I loved. My top 3: Art, reading and travel. (And geeking, but that’s a whole ‘nother story.)

Art and reading are pretty self explanatory, but today I was thinking about the actual “why” of my traveling.
Like if I was sitting in a job interview, and they asked me why I love to travel, what would I answer?

I mean, there are easier ways to get an adrenaline rush. There are closer places to run to if I wanted to escape my life.

Why do I think it’s important to hop on 5, 10 or even 20-hour plane ride to see the world beyond my own city or country?

Well, I think it comes down to a pretty simple answer.

Because I can.

Now I don’t mean that to sound cocky, although some of you might read it that way. And I don’t mean it to sound condescending (duh – I’m not a bitc-…mom, cover your ears).

But when I step back and categorize the priorities in my life, I see travel hitting the top because, simply put: I have the opportunity to do it. And I know and acknowledge that isn’t an opportunity afforded to everyone.
Secondarily, although not unconnected, I travel because for a good portion of my life people looked at me as someone who not only wouldn’t but couldn’t.
When I was growing up a lot of people said some pretty dismal things about my future. After all, what could become of a mixed girl born into a non-traditional household? My gender, family status and race were all a “problem.” Or, at least that’s what my mom was told.

Luckily, I have a badass (sorry for the swearing, mom) mother. And I’ve had one of the most stubborn upbringings known to humankind.

So, when I say I travel because I can, I don’t mean because I am somehow superior to others in my ability to do so. If anything it’s the reverse.
I mean that when I travel, it isn’t really about me.

It’s about the lives of people back home who sacrificed so much so that I would have the opportunities to lead me to this place. They didn’t get to go backpacking, or Couchsurfing or jump on planes at the drop of a hat (and some of them never will), so when I do – it’s for them.

It’s a way of me honoring the sacrifices made, and the people who made them. Because I’m not naïve enough to think my own freedom to travel wasn’t paid for before I was old enough to understand the currency. I know that when I’m buying plane tickets, or booking trains, it’s because of decisions made out of loyalty and love.

Traveling is a way of me saying, “Thank you.”

So, whether I’m standing in India, or Ireland or Italy know that I’m bringing all you amazing souls with me along the way. I’m sending my love and a heartfelt thank you via postcards, silly souvenirs, phone calls, Snapchats, video messages, emails, letters photos or while collecting stories to send back. Because I freakin’ love you all!

Why do I think it’s important to travel? Because I don’t have a lot to offer in the form of tangibly making dreams realities. But I can be the feet that imprint a little piece of home, and all those dreams I carry with me, wherever I go.