Why I Cut ‘Jealous’ Out Of My Travel Vocabulary

Last week I bought a plane ticket to Europe. In January I’m going to be taking a trip through 5 countries and honestly I’m so excited to be going to my second “home,” again.

With every trip/travel experience I’ve taken, I come across people who say that they’re “jealous.” And while I know it’s not generally meant negatively, I wanted to have a quick housekeeping talk about it.jealousy-quoteObviously I’m not immune to the green monster that is jealousy, but I’ve noticed this conversation happening a lot, lately. I had to stop and think: Do we know what we’re saying?

Note for the love of linguistics: When we say, “I’m jealous!” what we’re actually saying is that we’re afraid of losing something.

“Jealousy is an anticipatory emotion. It seeks to prevent loss,” said Ralph Hupka, Professor of Psychology, Emeritus at California State University at Long Beach.

Despite the common misuse of the word (what’s new? #English) what we generally mean is that we’re envious of what the other person has. For this piece we’ll move forwards with the common knowledge that we, as a society, use the words synonymously, and that ‘jealous’ is interchangeable with the meaning of envy.

And now, back to your regular program/rant…

Why am I even talking about this? Well, in the travel community I think it can be easy to look over at someone else’s accomplishments (I’m lookin’ at you Mr. 153 countries in 2 years) and feel a certain tinge of green.

When you see that someone bought a plane ticket to a place you’ve always wanted to go, your initial reaction, as you’re sitting in your cubicle typing, probably isn’t going to be to high-five them. But guess what? You should. Why? Because that’s how we build community. You have to CELEBRATE.

As a woman, I think a lot of us grew up being pitted against each other. For some reason we’re supposed to be in competition with every other woman on the planet, and we’re supposed to sit in a corner moping, if we don’t sing like Taylor Swift, and have moves like Beyoncé.

When have we EVER been encouraged to throw a party when one of us kicks ass and conquers?!

Three years ago, after a rather tragic and heart breaking experience (#storyforanothertime) I decided to stop using the word “jealous” in my conversations with people (and to be honest, even in my mental conversations).

Why was it that when those people accomplished their dreams, I felt like I needed to protect myself from losing my own. Sound ridiculous? Sound familiar?

Hint: That’s not how it works.

I started my little vocab experiment when I realized how terrible I felt after I said I was jealous of someone. Even if it was meant to be light-hearted, it didn’t feel right. And generally speaking (unless the person was a smug-ass) I noticed that nobody was reacting positively to me expressing my jealousy.

At first it was really hard, I’m not going to lie. And to be more honest, it still is. Sometimes the words bubble up to my lips before I even get a chance to think about them and I have to push them back down. It’s a bit like trying to get a rolled sleeping bag back in its bag.

The Results: What I noticed when I stopped using “jealous” to describe my feelings is that my mindset changed. I started to replace stagnant thoughts with questions like, “How can I do that?”
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A few years ago I wanted to do a lot of things that I didn’t have the courage to do. Mainly because I spent hours on Pintrest/travel websites drooling over what other people were posting.

That’s no way to live.

When you start to ask yourself “how” you can make things happen, you start to open doors, and you start pushing yourself forward. Believe me, the universe knows when you’ve opened yourself up to new experiences. You might even land in another country, attempting to speak somewhat fluent French.

I’m just saying. It’s happened before.

The part that breaks my heart is that society is (generally) not on our side. Spend 5 minutes looking at ads on your TV and you’ll quickly see that we, as Americans, are constantly in competition with each other. MAKE the grass on your side greener so the Jones’ (and everyone else!) has to drool in envy. Go on a Caribbean cruise so your coworkers are envious (not to spend time with your family, don’t be ridiculous). The list goes on and on.

Fight it.

Get off your couch and go DO something. Buy a plane ticket, or start saving to buy one. And stop saying you can’t. Before I really even knew how to budget (or anything about travel), I would put away the tiniest amount of money every month, daring not to hope. When I finally had the guts to buy a plane ticket I had the backup that I needed. Literally EVERY SINGLE person told me not to, but I did anyway. Why? Because that was MY dream.

And now it’s time for yours to start.

Jealousy is a stagnant emotion. It doesn’t move you forward. It’s like one of those stupid gumdrop traps in Candyland that makes you lose a turn.

Stop jealously looking at what others are doing, and start making things happen in your own life. You’re so much more powerful than you know.

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4 Ways To Travel Without Leaving Home

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What if I told you that you can travel without ever leaving your neighborhood? 

Traveling is a big part of my life. Obviously. I spend hours each week blogging, researching and Tweeting about it. But the reality of the situation is that not everyone can just throw some stuff in a bag and hop on a plane, which is something I’ve been very fortunate to have done on multiple occasions. Right now, however, I’m in a bit of a hiatus for travel, or at least long trips, because I’m paying back the student loan gods and getting settled after a year of living in one of the most expensive cities in the world.

But back to you. I know there are a lot of you who love travel, but may not be able to right now, so I thought I would share some of my tips for curing (at least temporarily) the travel blues. Ready? Okay, here we go:

Postcards

You know, those tiny little scraps of paper that you pray will go where they’re supposed to because, let’s face it, there’s no return address. Yep, those. I love postcards and I probably always will. When I was a kid I used to had a penpal, and that’s probably where my love for snail mail originates from, but I think I also just like being able to talk to people without talking to them (if I’m honest) #introvert.

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The best part of sending/receiving postcards is that you don’t have travel somewhere in order to send them. No joke! Try out a website like Postcrossing to send and receive postcards from people all over the world. How does this work?

1. You go to Postcrossing and sign up.

2. They send you the addresses of a few people to test your commitment.

3. Once those people receive your postcards (which you’ve written a little code from the website, on) you start getting postcards and so forth and so on.

One time I got a postcard from Germany that led me to making a new friend in the U.S. and it was awesome. You never know what you’re gonna get!

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The wall of my bedroom in Paris.

Read

I know, I know, now I sound like
5th grade.Outlander-TV_series-2014 But it’s TRUE! Reading is an amazing way to experience other cultures and places without ever having to leave your house (literally, just order them on Amazon – you don’t have to ever leave…except maybe health reasons).The best part of books (other than that they’re relatively cheap) is that they can actually inspire you to travel to other places, and make your trips more fun.
Right now I’m reading the Outlander series, and I’m seriously considering going to Scotland just so that I can visit all of the places. It makes you appreciate a place so much more when you’re able to associate happy reading memories with the real life places.

Have a Penpal

IMG_0389One of the best ways to get to know people who are different than yourself is to do just that…get to know people who are different from you. I’ve had a penpal for most of my childhood and again for the past year. She lives in Liverpool, England and due to the crazy of each letter taking 1-2 weeks to get from point A to point B, we don’t talk too often, but it’s the most exciting thing in the world to get a letter in the mail from England once a month!

If you’re still a little skeptical that pen pals are for kids, take a peek at the website that I used to get mine: Letter Writer’s Alliance. They’re dedicated to making sure snail mail stays in business, and it’s a pretty awesome community. Not only can you get matched with another member (lifetime membership is $5) but you can also check out their awesome letter writing merch (not required to write, just awesome) as well as local meet-ups and other events.

Social Media Groups

You know what they say: the people you surround yourself with influence your behavior. The best part of social media is that you can choose who you’re around and gain inspiration that way! Obviously, Twitter is my biggest inspiration with all +5,000 of my travel buds, but I also love Facebook groups, as well. Instagram is (obv) a really good source as well, but I’ve never really been in to Instagram, so that’s not as much my scene. Try looking at these Facebook Groups (or even join a couple!) for travel inspiration galore.

Travelettes : Launched in 2009, Travelettes is an online magazine/ travelblog/ network for and from girls who love to travel.

Nomadness Travel Tribe: The Nomad•ness Travel Tribe, created by Evita Robinson, stemming from her travel series Nomad•ness TV, is an online social community of travelers and expats all around the world. In the Tribe, they come together to share stories, advice, dos and don’ts, in an interpersonal setting. The majority of our members are bridged by an urban background.

Americans in France:

Irish Central: IrishCentral is America’s number one news website for Irish news with over 3.5 million readers a month. (Also one of my favorite newsletters to get!)

Mama Loves Paris: Brilliant ideas, inspiration, fun and fab photography for families living or loving Paris life.

Jetting Around: Jetting Around by Pola Henderson is a blog dedicated to cities and their culture. In addition to writing, Pola hosts a weekly city travel discussion on Twitter called #JAchat (Fridays, 1pm ET) and international networking events for travelers, JA Café: Travel Talk Over Coffee.

Travel Noire: Travel Noire is a digital publishing platform that creates tools and resources for the unconventional traveler.

The Exploress: Inspire | Share | Educate | Together we are a global community of young, creative and adventurous women who share a burning desire to travel.

Review: The Chairman

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To bun or not to bun? That is the question. “What kind of bun would you like?” is more of the question. I was so glad to find this little shop this week, among my lunchtime shenanigans with my coworkers. At this shop I had, what has now OFFICIALLY been documented as the best hamburger of my life (even though the people at the front counter would like to add that it is like a hamburger, not a hamburger…it’s a hamburger) and I got a salad the size of Rhode Island. In addition (oh yeah, there’s more) I also ordered some delicious apricot soda, which was completely weird at first, and then my favorite thing ever. The location of this venue, while seeming a bit on the rough side, is worth pressing through to get to this delicious food. I’m no foodie – but I’ll be raving about it for years to come.

Ordered: Coca-cola braised pork baked roll, seasonal salad, apricot soda

Where: 670 Larkin St San Francisco, CA 94109

 

Went: Thursday January 7th, 2016

Wifi: ? (You’ll be too busy eating to notice)

Reservation Needed: No

Tip: Do your research to see if you would prefer a baked or a steamed roll!

Website: http://www.hailthechairman.com/#modern-baos

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7 Days And Counting: UK/Ireland Backpacking Trip 2015

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Quick updates seem to be the theme of my life, right now, but I want to catch all of you lovely people up with the chaotic beauty that my life is right now!

I absolutely CANNOT believe that it’s Christmas next week! When did that happen!?

Another thing that I can’t believe is that I’m going to be flying out to Europe next week. It’s absolute madness. With all of the chaos of changing jobs and holiday busy, I’ve basically just felt like this trip is an oncoming train that I’m about the get hit with. But that’s okay, I like the excitement.

Okay, so I haven’t really told you all very much about this trip (mainly because I haven’t really prepared AT ALL for the trip itself). I’ve been trying to book places to stay in my spare time, bugging friends in the UK/Ireland to help me book places and generally trying to piece together as many things as possible, in the meantime.

One of the best things I can think of, though, is going to be all of the spare time I’ll have for reading. It’s going to be insane. I have an 8 hour layover in Washington DC on my way to London, and then I get to spend Christmas night in Heathrow airport, waiting for my 6am bus because drumroll the ENTIRE city of London shuts down for Christmas and boxing day.

Honestly, there are a lot of things I love about Europe, but the country/city closures are not one of them. I love being able to go to the grocery store on Sundays, in Seattle. In fact, I think I purposely go shopping on Sundays, now, as some sort of completely ineffective way to rebel against “the man.”

I am really looking forward to the holiday, though. I can’t even believe that it’s coming up so quick! Here’s what our itinerary looks like, for now:

12/25-12/26: London

12/26-12/27: Edinburgh, Scotland (Be still my heart.)

12/27-1/1: Dublin, Ireland (I can’t even. I’m SO EXCITED!)

1/1-1/2: Stratford-upon-Avon (Shakespeare!)

1/2 – 1/3: London

Overall, you can see where the majority of my heart/time will be (#IRISHTILIDIE), but I’m so excited to get to see some awesome new places along the way, as well!

Here are some of the suggestions we’ve had for our time in Edinburgh (feel free to add suggestions in the comments section, below!):

  • Edinburgh Castle, Royal Mile
  • Holyrood Palace and Abbey, Royal Mile (with a walk up to the top of Arthur’s Seat for a great view)
  • The Grassmarket for food
  • The National Gallery
  • The National Portrait Gallery
  • Cramond Island (get the 41 bus from Prince’s St and ask the driver to let you know when to get off for Cramond Village. Make sure you check the tide times so that when the tide is out you can walk across the causeway to the island in the middle of the estuary. It’s amazing! Suggested lunch in the cafe in the harbour for Cullen Skink (fish broth) and homemade bread, Scottish food).

I did want to throw out an inquiry to the world of travel, though. I’m going to be in Dublin for quite some time and I’ve done most of the “tourist” things to do, so what are your suggestions!? What have I missed? Literary stops? Old libraries/bookshops? Geekery? Art? Let me know in the comments section, below!

Having this trip to look forward to has really helped me along with the transition of moving jobs and with getting settled in Seattle, in general. There’s something that really settles my mind about knowing that I have a plane ticket to the UK/Ireland. It hasn’t mattered, over the past months that I wasn’t going to be going back for months. What mattered was that I was going to be going back! And I couldn’t be more excited as I set off with two of my closest friends.

 

5 Women In Travel You Should Probably Know About (Like, Now.)

5 Womwn in travel to know
I love Twitter. I love Twitter so much that I could probably spend ten hours a day on it and not even think twice. But what I love about Twitter isn’t the mindless garbage that I find on a lot of other social media sites. It’s the beauty of connecting with other people like myself (hopefully that doesn’t sound as narcissistic when you read it, as it does when I do). I love Twitter because among the endless pages of 140 characters and hashtags I get to find other travelers. I get to meet women who are passionate about exploring the world, and I get to see their adventures and get inspired to go out and make some more of my own travel memories. Not only have I been able to get travel advice and tips from these ladies (and some gentlemen too), but I also have been able to meet up with some of them! And let me tell you, these women are amazing!
You don’t believe me? Check out their awesomeness for yourself!

Journalist On The Run

  • Janet Newenham

    Cork, Ireland || Janet says: “I’m a 28 year old, happy-go-lucky intrepid traveller, originally from Cork, Ireland, with no idea what I want to do with my life except to keep on traveling and hopefully do some good along the way.” Find out more on her blog!

Traveling Ginger

  • Traveling Ginger

    Jupiter, Florida, USA || Niki says: ” I love travel, culture, food and photography and  created the TG blog to share it with the Internet (i.e. friends and family around the world). I have my own business working with children with learning difficulties, and spend the rest of my time seeking out adventures across the US and the world. I share those adventures and experiences here at the TG!” Check out here awesome “Eat the world” challenge on her blog!

Jetting Around

  • Pola (JettingAround)

    Chicago, Illinois, USA|| Pola says: “A Chicago-based traveler originally from Krakow, Poland, traveling and ‘jetting around’ have been a part of my life since I was three years old.
    When I’m not busy running my company JA Media, I venture out to explore cities and their culture. Favorites: city lights, views from above, flying, books, coffee shops, stadiums.” Follow her adventures on her blog!

Ladies What Travel

  • Ladies what…travel

    Southwest United Kingdom || Emma and Kerri say: “[We are] two friends who love to travel, whether on our own, on a girls’ weekend away or with our other halves. We both work full-time, so created this blog for people like us – fans of travel, exploration, adventure and food – that want to make the most of a limited amount of free time and annual leave. We spend a lot of our time exploring the best of what the UK has to offer, but we love to head further afield whenever we get the chance. And since we both love food, our trips are often planned around the best places to eat – particularly if there’s a good afternoon tea nearby.” Follow their great travel tips on their website!

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  • Candace Rose Rardon

    San Francisco, CA, USA || Candace says: “I’m a writer, sketch artist, and illustrator with a serious case of wanderlust. Blessed to call the world my studio and home.” Check out her beautiful (and I do mean BEAUTIFUL) water color paintings on her website! (Or buy some in her Etsy shop!)

What about you girls and guys?! Who did I miss?? Who are some amazing travel-istas I MUST be following!? Message me below (no, really. I WILL FOLLOW THEM)!

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5 Ways Paris Changed How I American

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It’s not grammatically correct – I know. Get over it.

Visiting any place will change the way you interact with the world, but living in a place changes you right down to the core. There are so many little differences I’ve noticed since I’ve been back from France – it’s crazy to think that it has already been more than four months since I’ve been back! What a crazy thought.

But, France is still with me in so many ways. No, I don’t have French speakers surrounding me, anymore, but I do have a lot of things that I’ve changed in my own day to day life, that weren’t even noticeable while I was living in France. Today I realized just how much my American has become French. It’s okay, though. I think these changes (for the most part) are making me a healthier happier person!
Here are a few examples:

  1. I eat dinner for lunch: If there’s one thing that the French are known for, it would be their food. Beyond this, I would say they’re known for their love of food. It’s not uncommon for Parisian businesses to be closed down for multiple hours, as workers wine and dine their lunch breaks away. As a young professional navigating the professional (very American) world, I wouldn’t say I’m quite to this point, but I definitely do pack lunches differently. When I was in France it was the first time that I had ever eaten anything more substantial than a sandwich for lunch. But lunch in France? It was a huge, gourmet (and quickly became favorite) meal of mine. And I’ve noticed the remnants of this practice in my day to day life even now. I pack meals, not yogurt and burritos, for lunch – and I’m starting to realize how much more satisfying my day is after having a substantial meal to look forward to, and to enjoy the energy from.
  2. I cross the street whenever I damn well please: Okay so this one I actually have to rework in my head every day, because I now live in a city where the police DO care if you jaywalk. In Paris I got so used to just walking across the street whenever I felt like it (as long as there wasn’t oncoming traffic, duh.) that I’m still trying to retrain myself to stick to the crosswalks and wait for lights to change. It isn’t easy.
  3. I CANNOT enjoy regular bread: It’s actually really sad to me that I can no longer enjoy non artisan bread. But I just can’t. Unfortunately, the U.S. doesn’t exactly accommodate my French taste buds with the penny prices that you can get bread for in France. Here in the U.S. they’re more than happy to charge you your first born child in order for you to enjoy the light fluffy goodness that bread should be. And now I’m sad to say (sorry to my budget), I don’t have any intention of ever going back.
  4. I can’t enjoy sweets/soda: WHY IS EVERYTHING SO SWEET IN THIS COUNTRY!? My salt levels were pretty off when I first got back, as well – but I definitely got over that one. Mmmmm salt. Sugar – not so much, I can barely sip off of a soda, it’s so high in sugar. Everything, in fact, seems to be dumped with piles and mounds of sugar and sweeteners. It’s a little more than I can take – but this is a pretty easy something to fix since I love fruit and vegetables more now, anyway.
  5. Old isn’t old, anymore: Last weekend I was driving past a field when I saw an old barn. It brought up a really interesting conversation/thought process when I called it ‘old’, though, because I realized that it was probably built within the last hundred years. In comparison to the thousand (and older!) year old structures I was used to seeing in Europe, it’s interesting how my thought process has changed as far as measuring the age of things around me. The U.S. is such a baby nation!What about you all!? Have you ever lived/travelled somewhere that changed your perspective on how you live your own day to day life? Comment below!Blog Signature