The Wonderful World Of Dating As A Travel Blogger

Let’s be honest. Dating in 2018 is a shit-show.

Most people on Tinder are looking for unicorns (don’t look it up, mom) or hookups, and the rest are some kind of weird, with more baggage than a flight to Antartica.

“But, Emilee! What about…” Stop. Before you tell me about how your sister’s cousin’s best-friend met her husband on POF, I’m talking general scope here. For most who are looking for more than a quick hook-up, the dating scene is bleak. Real bleak.

And for us travel bloggers? Goddesses of plane tickets and bullet journals…the struggle is even more real. If you’re a girl who travels you know what I mean:

  1. You’re way picky because you’re a little too awesome for most guys out there.
  2. People assume that every trip you take has something to do with getting a fresh scope on that continent’s male population.
  3. You aren’t in one place long enough to really establish a relationship, so you hop from long distance to long distance, with visits on holiday weekends and summers.
  4. People love to ask this question, “How are you still single!?”

Sound ’bout right?

We’ve chosen a lifestyle that’s counter intuitive to the way most of the world thinks. Which means we’d rather buy RT tickets to Malta than baby formula and diapers. And some people don’t get that. And some people never will.

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Let’s be honest, traveling changes you. The type of guy you’d go for pre-traveling is probably completely different than the one you’re looking for after island hopping in Southeast Asia. Experiences mean more. Open-mindedness means more. And a willingness to travel means a hell of a lot more. In fact, one of the biggest turn-offs is a guy saying, “I’m not really into travel.”

Because when it comes down to it our lifestyle means we’ve pinpointed what we love already. We’ve taken the time to love ourselves, and to pursue the things that make our hearts soar. So if you’re a gentleman suitor not up to the challenge…bye.

And let’s talk travel community. When a travel girl finds another travel girl they’re like soul sisters. We’re a strong community of bad-ass women who have set out to find deeper meaning, and to meet beautiful people around the world. Our favorite book?

This book is actually super good. Read it.

And there’s nothing wrong with us living our lives off the beaten path. We’re our genuine selves, and that’s more valuable than you might think. Authentic is hard to find, ladies. Don’t ever let it go. Because someday you’re going to find someone who makes you feel complete and whole. Maybe that’s a guy, or a girl, or a cat, or own glorious self…just promise me you’ll never stop traveling and doing what you love.

After note: I wrote this post a while ago and have since started dating a pretty wonderful guy. That being said, I think this still rings so true. Dating as a travel blogger is a world of its own.  

When You Don’t Feel Like You’re Enough

You are enough.

The older we get the more people seem to think they can tell us we aren’t enough. Now I’m all for self-improvement and for building on who we are to make even more bad-ass versions, but that’s not what I’m talking about. What I’m talking about is the people who tell you that you don’t belong. That your dreams aren’t valid. That you’ve tried and failed…and that you should stay down.

Don’t listen to them. For the love of all that’s holy, don’t. There are always going to be voices in your life that say you are less than worthy. It’s not true. But it’s going to be an ongoing trend in your adult life. Welcome to adulting. When you meet these people you’re going to have two choices:

  1. Believe them, and adjust your actions accordingly.
  2. Don’t believe them, and adjust your actions accordingly.

Now, if you know me, you’ll know which option I’m opting for. Fight. Fight back. Don’t ever let someone tell you that you can’t become successful at what you imagine for yourself. Build a network from scratch. Live off caffeine for a while, and put in 8 hours AFTER your 8 hours. Whatever you have to do to make that dream a reality, do it. I know it can seem like some far-off imagining. But find someone who has made it, and then follow their footsteps. Start telling everyone what your dream is. Anyone who will listen. Tell them where you are and how hard you’ve worked to get there. Then, tell them where you’re going–where you see yourself in five or ten years.

I’ll warn you now…you’re probably going to freak some people out with your ambition. They’re going to see you glowing like a lightbulb and tell you to tone it down, or to stop striving for more. “Be more focused.” “Can’t you just take it easy?” “Calm down.” “You’re showing us all up.”

Show them up.

Keep doing what you love, as long as it burns a fire in your heart. And then, if it starts to die, reignite it. Those people who are standing in front of you, telling you that you’re trying too hard–those are apparitions. Those are the ghosts of dreams past. They were scared to try, and when they see you the fear that’s choking their heart is reminded of it’s former glory. Push past them: mentally, physically, however you have to. Block them out. Turn on EDM and eat french fries for lunch. Watch cat memes, and go lay in the sun. Remember you are from dust and to dust you will return…but not yet. First you have dreams to wrangle in. You have pursuits to run after. Run. Don’t ever stop running.

Surround yourself with people who believe in your vision. People who say, “No matter what happens, you’ll find a way to make this work out. You’ll be fine.” Stick with people who believe in your strength. People who will dance with you in the kitchen on days when shit goes down and you feel like curling up on the floor. And to those who don’t understand what you’re passionate about–those who stare at you like you’re crazy? Let them stare. Let them be swallowed in their confusion until they convulse in their own bleak reality. You were made for more. Live beyond the naysayers and the dream-wreckers. You got this. We got this. 

5 Reasons Why The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel Is Life

In case you haven’t seen it, yet, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel is the show you SHOULD be watching. And it’s one of my absolute favorites for a few prime reasons. The show starts off with Midge (aka Mrs. Maisel), a gorgeous upper-westside 1950s housewife, getting dumped by her weak-ass husband. But, never fear, what starts out as madness ends in…well, madness. But madness of a different kind. And I think that’s why I like this show so much. It really is such a refreshing take on what it means to be a woman. And to be perfectly honest, it taps into some pretty big items that are still very relevant today.

Since promoting the stories of strong, independent women is kind of my passion, I thought I would share my reasons for loving this show so much (if you haven’t watched it yet, you can find it on Amazon Prime). Even beyond the laugh-out-loud humor and fast-paced banter, here are five reasons that you really need to be watching:

1. This show highlights women…and they aren’t all the same

Let’s face it, we can all tell when a man is making a movie about women. Why? Because all the female characters fall into cringeworthy categories/stereotypes. I love how this show highlights women ranging from Midge’s manager (who is constantly being referred to as a man), to her best friend/front-row-at-yoga mom of the year, to her mother who is perfectionistic (yet sensitive), to herself: Miriam Maisel, the comic. One of my favorite things about these characters is that nobody is “right.” The show doesn’t try to show one type of woman as better than the others. Like I said: trés refreshing.

2. Midge makes mistakes

I love how Midge is written, because her character doesn’t always get things right. In fact, she gets things wrong all the time AND THERE ARE CONSEQUENCES. But she’s grounded enough to know when extreme measures need to be taken (ex. When she barges into a managers office, after failing an interview, to ask for another job). She’s persistent in finding out who she is, and what she wants. At one point in the show her husband tells Midge that she’s “a lot.” She asks, “A lot of what?” and he then goes into telling her that some girls are pretty, some are funny, some your parents like…but you don’t usually find a girl who checks all the boxes.

This discussion is huge. Why? Because I think this is STILL a problem in today’s society. Women are expected to do everything, be it all, but when we work our asses off to reach that peak of perfection we’re told that we’re too much. We’re too intimidating. We’re too strong-willed. We need to smile more, and tone it back so men can feel comfortable (my grandmother’s actual words). I love Midge for not standing down, despite being told she’s “a lot.”

3. Midge experiences real life situations

From dealing with her parents, to dealing with bras, to taking yoga classes, to taking off her makeup, to cooking brisket, to measuring her body to make sure she’s “still got it,” Midge brings a really beautiful slice of humanity to this show. Let’s face it: girls deal with a lot of problems that never get put on television. They’re invisible. We don’t talk about them.

We’re all just walking around trying to keep it together while putting in 120% more effort than we should have to. My favorite example of this is when Midge and her husband are talking about the indents on her skin from her bra. He says he never noticed them before, and she responds that it’s because she used to powder her back to make it less red. He asks how long they’ll stay there and she says, “They’ll go away by morning…just in time for me to wear the thing again. It’s a vicious cycle.” The struggle is real.

4. The costumes are to die for

Okay, so from a purely design/artist point of view I love this show because of the costumes which are absolutely ravishing. Midge is always on point, and completely pulled together and it reminds me why I spent 15 years of my life obsessed with 1940s fashion (let’s be honest, I still am). The costumes in this show bring a whole different, and beautiful, dimension to the story and I love the narratives that are told just by which dress she chooses to wear.

5. Midge has a side-hustle

Or, rather, she has a 9-5. Whichever way you look at it, I love that Midge is juggling working retail, while still pursuing her dreams at night. All while wearing the perfect shade of red lipstick. When Midge first gets a job, there’s a general feeling of shock and horror from her family, but she doesn’t let that get to her. She goes for it, realizing that the only way she can truly gain her freedom is by bringing in some kind of income. I think a lot of us (#millenials) can relate to this feeling of trying to stay in the green while pursuing what we’re passionate about. Those sleepless nights, and early mornings, are a little too real. But I love that Midge sticks with it, and keeps pressing on toward her ultimate goal of owning the stage (while following her rules).

Haven’t seen the show, yet? Check out the trailer here: